Sooo, Mr Abbot (the leader of the Opposition) has decided that he’s going to introduce six month’s maternity leave at full pay.
And he’s going to fund it by taxing big business.
I’m not gonna comment on the backflip he did, for two reasons. One, it’s already been overdone. Two, that would make me a hypocrit, because, yeah, I’ve backflipped over lots of things. Usually when I’ve had a good look at the situation, and/or circumstances have changed and I need to recalculate. I will give Tony some cred for this, as there is a remote chance that he rethought or reassessed.
I also don’t feel the need to comment on what these taxes to large business are going to do, particularly for employment – or do I mean ‘unemployment’? – and the quality of good and/or services coming out of these businesses. I’m sure some very clever people (ie not politicians who seem incapable of considering the reality that their actions do actually impact on and affect other things) will cover this in greater detail, and from a much more knowledgable and informed spot than I.
No, personally, I think this is a plot my Mr Abbot and his male cohorts (including some of our husbands and partners) to get women back into the house and doing the damned ironing!
The basket is overflowing!
International Women’s Day … and the future for boys?
By · CommentsHappy International Women’s Day!
I love International Women’s Day. I love what it stands for. I love what our fore-women did for us, the opportunities it has opened up for women today and … oh, just lots of fabulous things!
I’m very much a proponent of Girls are strong, like King Kong, boys are weak, chuck ‘em in the creek! … or at least, I was.
I was until I had my kids. Very proud was I to be a woman in this day and age, to have the access to go to uni, to start my own business, to have a life outside of my being a mother. I love that the attitude of men has changed; my own husband was not only accepting of my want to further my study and start a business during my childbearing years, he actively encouraged and supported me in doing so. And not just be, but the husbands of my friends who supported their returning to work, in more ways than one. Including taking on some of the housework, changing nappies and scheduling in “daddy days”.
Or, at the very least, telling their wives to organise a cleaner 
It was having boys, however, that had me … doubting? Not quite the right word, but hopefully you get the gist.
You see, I have concerns about what awaits my boys in the future, with the push for girls to be all they can be, at any expense.
It’s a thin and blurry line. Of course I believe girls can grow up to be anything they want to be, and should have all the rights that men have.
I think everyone should – the boys included. And it’s this that bothers me. I know men (white, middle class ones to be more specific) have it pretty good at the moment, and there’s quite a bit of catching up for we white, middle class women in terms of equality, particularly in wages etc. However, with this focus on the girls, my concern is the boys will be left in a very confused spot.
I’m often in the delicate situation of explaining to my boys about respect for women, discussions on the treatment of women, and how it’s ok for women to be and do what they want, while at the same time ensuring they are left feeling like its ok for them, too, to be and do what they like. That this rise in support and empowerment for women (girls) is not at the expense of boys (men) and there’s room for everyone.
We are already seeing, particularly amongst older – by which I mean mid- to late 40s and above – feelings of ‘displacement’. They spent their lives, for the most part, of the understanding that the woman’s place was in the kitchen and the men’s earning the money. I know men who feel inadequate for not being the sole provider (“My wife has to contribute, therefore I’m not good enough”), being teased (“pussy whipped” and “she has him under her thumb”) for helping out around the house, or going out and doing “stuff” with the kids. Worse, enjoying it!
It’s a social thing for men, too.
I know the next generation have it slightly “easier” for want of a better word, although still confusing. Women are being urged to return to work, for various reason, both internal and external, and the men have fathers who supported the family and had little to do with the house and childrearing.
Our children’s generation will see something different again. They’ll see dads being more involved, they’ll see women actively enjoying and wanting to be in the work force, or running a business. Hopefully, they will see more sharing of household jobs, and see more equality between men and women.
My concern lies, however, with the beliefs that boys will have about themselves, when all the focus is one girls and women. I do like to think they have just as much right to do what they want to do.
And I do hope that, as a society, we can see that they still retain that right, even if they are boys, and just as much as girls can.
Finally, to all the women before us who have paved the way for the future ahead of us, I say “Thank you”. To all the amazing women out there fulfilling their dreams, whether it be running their own large, multinational corporation, or small, home based business, to the corporate and career mums, to those working “just to get out of the house and do something for yourself” and to those who chose to stay at home and be with the kids, Happy International Women’s Day!
Product Review – Easy Cheesey!
By · CommentsOk, so I’m one of these cynical, food snobbery type people who doesn’t like packaged foods.
And, I must admit, when I heard about Mainland Cracker Cuts … whereby you get a packet of 20 mini slices of cheese, perfectly sized for a standard cracker – I did think “What has the world come to?! Have we become so lazy that we are incapable of slicing cheese for ourselves?!”
I take it all back.
I do love a bit of good cheese on a cracker, and my kids love cheese in general. My life over the last few weeks has become increasingly crazy and busy and I’m spending a lot more time racing around like an idiot from after school activities to seminars, from swim lessons to TV interviews, from day care drop offs to trying to find the first asylum that will have me.
These Cracker Cuts arrived on my doorstep (thank you Coles Online!), in a number of flavours (Mild, Light, Tasty and Extra Tasty – my personal favourite). I was pondering when and for what purpose I was going to use them, and suprised myself with how I did. Ok, we get that they’re easy, pre-cut and you whack them on a cracker, they’re very portable, great for snacks on the go, etc.
And, did you know, also:
~ very handy for when you haven’t been shopping for ages and your kids’ lunch boxes are lacking something (ie food!) and you go into panic and “argh!”. The “argh” is also because you’re running late and panicking, so you grab a pack of these and add them to the lunchbox with some crackers. Our school has a “nude food” policy, so the packs are out, but when you’re in that rushed, before-school state, they’re easy to open, grab a handful of slices, toss them in the luncbox and throw it at the kids.
~ incredibly useful when you’re trying to prepare the evening meal and the toddler is sitting at your feet, screaming, trying to climb your legs and having a good go at the floor sweepings to satisfy his hunger because he’s incapable of waiting till dinner is cooked. Whip open a pack of Cracker Cuts, and shove a handful in his mouth. Peace and quiet. And uninterrupted Preparing-Evening-Meal time. Twenty slices buys you quite a bit of time.
~ satisfyingly delicious when you eventually get the kids to bed, pop yourself in front of a good DVD with a glass of wine and think “gee, I’d love some cheese and crackers about now, but really can’t be arsed getting up and slicing some cheese”. The cheese goes really nicely with wine, too.
And that was just the uses I found for them in one day. Imagine what you could use them for over a week!
How have you used your Mainland Cracker Cuts?
Mainland Cracker Cuts are available at Coles and Woolworths/Safeway in the fridge cheesey section.
If this review is on your product, and you’d like to let everyone know what a Real Mum thinks of it, please feel free to use the button below to promote the review on your site/product.
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Stuff and things
By · CommentsNew “look” up, and we’re just configuring it and putting things into place and where they should be.
Give us a moment … we may be delayed what with having to yell at kids and pour more wine.
Oh, and work on putting stuff into place 
Thanks for the suggestion, now broaden your mind
By · CommentsIt’s not a secret that I don’t mind my kids being cared for by others.
In fact, and this may shock some, so deal with it, I actually like long day care for my kids.
I prefer it to other forms of care.
And, right now, I’m looking for care for my nearly 18 month old. I’ve had my name on a waiting list for not nearly long enough. I use the excuse that I am a mother of three, had a young baby, two at school and had, quite honestly, lost my mind and just forgot to put my name down.
So, in the second half of last year, I did put my – well, his – name down at several centres. Then rang regarding family day care, my second option, and put my name on that waiting list as well.
My own fault, I take full responsibility.
I even resorted to asking another school mum for help – a hard ask in itself, as I don’t like asking for help.
The most silly thing I did, however, was openly discuss my plight of lack of childcare, and desperate need for same so I could get some work done, to the general public.
The resounding advice was “just swap babysitting with other mums”. From friends, from relatives, and, sadly, from pareting “support” sites.
(So long as you fit into a particular category)
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great advice. In context. It’s a sensible idea, and I’m sure it works brilliantly.
I also get that I’m “at home all day”.
Yes, that I am. I also happen to be the owner of a business that I operate from home. Thus my being “at home all day”.
Much as I think the swapping childcare is a great idea, I think it’s a stupid idea for me. While I need my child cared for by someone else, I don’t want to be taking up any more of my time with caring for the children of others.
I don’t want or need more distractions, more people in the house, more feeling guilty for refusing to get the paint out or making play-doh, avoiding sitting on the floor doing puzzles, singing nursery rhymes or reading educatoinal stories. Worse, I don’t want to be stressing about whether a cheestik and a banana are acceptable foods for children to eat.
I am a business owner.
Just because I’m at home … or just because I’m a mum … doesn’t automatically amenable to kid-swapping. Or kid accumulating.
Some of us just aren’t cut out for that sort of thing.
I am, however, happy to pay in chardonnay or chocolate!
Change is as good as a holiday …
By · Comments… or, at least, I bloody hope it is!
Because there are some BIG changes happening in my life that will also affect the business and the blog and … well, my life. And I think it means I’m not going to have a real, proper holiday anytime soon
A start has been made on the upgrading, updating, revamping and doing-tecnical-things-that-are-beyond-my-comprehension thingies. It will have a totally new look and include lots of fun, new things.
I’ve also (as you know, and if you don’t, welcome back to planet Earth or out from under the rock you’ve been living under) got my book listed on Amazon (Mad Cow’s Guide to Bad Mothering) and it will be launched soon. I can now officially refer to myself as An Author.
And a Speaker, as people are requesting my services for that also.
And, just in case that wasn’t enough change for me to cope with, I have also landed a role as a presenter on Channel 31’s Room To Grow … which will be airing in a few months, so I believe. Obviously, we’ll keep you informed.
We’re also updating this blog, from the technical aspect as well as from the design aspect. Over the next few days it will take on a slightly new look, not to drastic for you, I hope!
Big Changes ahead … am just hoping there are beaches, cocktails and foot massages involved in this holiday 
Not scared to show my support
By · CommentsGorgeous Renee over at Bra Queen and I have been working on a bit of a campaign to show our support for depression. Or, rather, support for people who are experiencing depression and support for services that support these people.
The campaign came about after we were sent a bazillion messages asking us to write the colour of the bra we were wearing in our Facebook Status, don’t tell the boys so we can keep them guessing, and it was all, allegedly to show support for Breast Cancer.
We kinda thought 1) Why hide it? and 2) What about all the other causes that also have a significant effect on individuals, their families and the community, and also lead to death?
We chose depression because it’s something we both passionate about changing … mostly, bringing it out into the open, letting people know it’s ok to discuss their thoughts and feelings, and provide information and support for those who are affected by being a friend, family member or parnter.
It is something I, personally, have experienced and am passionate about making a difference to.
The gist of the campaign is to show that we are not afraid to show our support … we’ve shown this over the last few weeks by sharing blog posts about or own experiences, writing a book including that includes honest accounts of depression, talking about it, and sharing resources and information for those in need, including friends, family and partners.
We’re taking it one step further and just how Not Afraid To Show Our Support and invite you to do the same. Renee has greated a group over at Facebook – Be Open To Depression and Show Your Support - where you can join and show just now not afraid you are to show your support, just as we have …
and I have to include this photo (Taken by Kelly at Photos By Kelly) - coz I love it, even thought it’s 18 months old … still, it’s showing my support
We ask that you join us in showing your support, exposing it and getting it out there – take a pic, put it on your Facebook Status, blog about it, write an article, whatever … just show your support! And you can tell the boys, too
We both say A BIG THANK YOU to Brava Lingerie & MJPhotography for your support Lingerie was donated by the LOVELY girls at Brava Lingerie & Photography was done by MJPhotography - thanks.
Gee, that’s a surprise! (oh, and that was sarcasm :))
By · CommentsA recent study has shown that most Gen-Yers are “embarrassed to breastfeed in public“.
According to an article on news.com.au and study by Queensland University of Technology showed that:
More than 50 per cent of women believed it would be uncomfortable to breastfeed in public, and a majority of men and women did not want their child to be breastfed in public for fear of embarrassment.
It also went on to say that most also did not fully understand the benefits of breastfeeding, ages to introduce solids etc etc.
Does anyone else think that perhaps the constant negative publicity surrounding breastfeeding in public my the media, and seemingly encouraged by organisations that “support” breastfeeding may have impacted on, oh, I don’t know, people who are yet to experience having a baby?
I’m alert to such things in the media and have had many a rant on this blog and others about the fact that while 27% of the population may be against it, it would indicate that 63% are for it, don’t care, or don’t know. Taking into account the ’for it’ and ‘don’t care’, one (perhaps I’m that only one?) would assume that it’s pretty much culturally acceptable.
Unless, of course, that remaining 63% fall into the “don’t know” category, in which case they are not living in this country, or been anywhere in the vicinity of me, who openly breastfed in various public places, and some VERY public places.
What I’m getting at is I find it highly unlikely that a majority of those who aren’t against breastfeeding in public fall into the “what are you talking about?” category.
Further, what I’m getting at is that 27% – ie less than a third – are against it, yet the focus seems to be on that particular group and what they think and believe. This is the minority, people!
Since when do we bow to them?!
Not suggesting there isn’t a need for some kind of education for the masses to understand it more and accept it. Particularly now that we’ve spent so bloody long focussing on all the negatives of it and we now have to undo it all!
I also don’t like to discredit the possible impact of Western societies penchant for sexualising boobs either, and do wonder if the results of this study were perhaps influenced party by this, and also the fact that the cohort haven’t actually experienced having a baby and doing stuff with it. I know before I had kids, I didn’t think of my boobs as being a source of food for anyone, as were the thoughts of many women I know. So potentially flawed results.
As for understanding how and why breastfeeding is “preferred”, some information would be really handy. “Breast is best” and “bottle feeding is obscene” is, sadly, not information and is, in fact, bullying and … obscene!
And perhaps if it wasn’t rammed down out throats (pardon the pun) every 5 minutes during our pregnancies, we may be a little more open to hearing about it’s benefits and not stressing about not being able to do it for fear of being considered a bad mother!
So, hopping off my high horse now, I, personally, am not at all surprised at this outcome, and will continue my rhetoric about focussing on the positives of breastfeeding in public; like most people don’t care if you do or not, and perhaps we can then affect cultural change. Not that a majority of the population need it, coz they seem to be pretty cool about it.
And I do have to apologise to any non-breastfeeders – actually, scrap that, I will use the term loud and proud – bottle feeders out there if I have inadvertently reinforced any negative feelings you have about bottle feeding. I say kudos to you, and you are doing the absolute best you can be doing for your bubs – you all rock and as far as I’m concerned if you are feeding it, caring for it and loving it then you ROCK! Keep it up
Speaking of doing stupid stuff …
By · CommentsAs most of you know, I live in a house full of testosterone (3 boys and a hubby).
Doing Stupid Stuff is just a part of our life.
Well, their’s. I do a lot of head shaking and saying “you’re an idiot” and “no, we’ve run out of bandaids. Again” and “well, if you were playing Silly Buggers then I’m not surprised you got hurt” and so on and so forth. But I’ve learnt to live with it.
Along with farting, eating copious amounts of anything, noise and miscellaneous Chaos.
I know I’m generalising, and I know there are girls who do this stuff too, but there are reasons for the generalisations and doing stupid dangerous things tends to be in the domain of boys.
(Whether you believe it is nature or nurture is irrelevant – boys do more dangerous and stupid stuff than girls, generally speaking)
Whilst I know my hubby and I ‘encourage’ this behaviour, to a degree, at this point in their lives it is mostly done in ’safe’ conditions. Either one of us are watching, helping, talking through and generally ensuring that they are relatively safe. Any situation that looks like it’s going to result in me passing up a glass of wine so I can sit in emergency for 14 hours is quickly put to a stop.
And this is what scares the bejeezus out of me.
There will come a point in their lives when we are not there to talk them through where to safely put their feet, or stop them when they do or say something that will seriously maim or kill them.
The incident of a few weeks back where 5 ‘kids’ (young adults – and one kid) where killed in a high speed car accident, where the driver was restricted and way over the blood alcohol limit is an example. Extreme, some may think, but it happens and it terrifies me.
I do hope that my hubby and I have instilled better sense of judgement in them than that.
I do know that kids are wired for testing boundaries and trying stupid, dangerous stuff. Some more than others. I believe it is inate. I also know that modeling from parents, teaching and encouragement by parents and respect for parents plays a big part in their behaviours. Other adults are included in this modeling and teaching as well; teachers, relatives, family friends, TV stars …
Whether that adult is considered responsible or not is irrelevant. They impact upon developing kids and young adults by being a part of their lives.
I digress slightly.
Boys will be boys and will do stupid stuff. Dangerous stuff. They are impacted on and influenced by those around them and close to them, particularly the male figures in their lives.
Their Dads are possibly the biggest influence in their lives (those how have Dads around them, of course)
An awesome colleague of mine, Pete Aldin (better known as a Freaked Out Father) has organised a Dads and Lads retreat.
If you’re a Mum of boys aged between 11-13, and terrified as I am (or not )I urge you to pass this info onto their Dad and encourage them to sign up (please do not force him to do it or tell him you want him to. Let him sort it out for himself).
If you’re a Dad and want to strengthen, create or recreate a bond with your son, and be an awesome role model that he will respect, or you’re just as scared as we Mums of Boys, or you just want a boys weekend away with benefits then I say “do this”
Dads and Lads Retreat … for further info visit http://www.freakedoutfathers.com/upcoming-events/
(No doubt there will also be lots of farting, miscellaneous Chaos, eating and probably some stupid boy stuff thrown in as well. Enjoy!)
