Speaking of doing stupid stuff …

As most of you know, I live in a house full of testosterone (3 boys and a hubby).

Doing Stupid Stuff is just a part of our life.

Well, their’s. I do a lot of head shaking and saying “you’re an idiot” and “no, we’ve run out of bandaids. Again” and “well, if you were playing Silly Buggers then I’m not surprised you got hurt” and so on and so forth. But I’ve learnt to live with it.

Along with farting, eating copious amounts of anything, noise and miscellaneous Chaos.

I know I’m generalising, and I know there are girls who do this stuff too, but there are reasons for the generalisations and doing stupid dangerous things tends to be in the domain of boys.

(Whether you believe it is nature or nurture is irrelevant – boys do more dangerous and stupid stuff than girls, generally speaking)

Whilst I know my hubby and I ‘encourage’ this behaviour, to a degree, at this point in their lives it is mostly done in ‘safe’ conditions. Either one of us are watching, helping, talking through and generally ensuring that they are relatively safe. Any situation that looks like it’s going to result in me passing up a glass of wine so I can sit in emergency for 14 hours is quickly put to a stop.

And this is what scares the bejeezus out of me.

There will come a point in their lives when we are not there to talk them through where to safely put their feet, or stop them when they do or say something that will seriously maim or kill them.

The incident of a few weeks back where 5 ‘kids’ (young adults – and one kid) where killed in a high speed car accident, where the driver was restricted and way over the blood alcohol limit is an example. Extreme, some may think, but it happens and it terrifies me.

I do hope that my hubby and I have instilled better sense of judgement in them than that.

I do know that kids are wired for testing boundaries and trying stupid, dangerous stuff. Some more than others. I believe it is inate. I also know that modeling from parents, teaching and encouragement by parents and respect for parents plays a big part in their behaviours. Other adults are included in this modeling and teaching as well; teachers, relatives, family friends, TV stars …

Whether that adult is considered responsible or not is irrelevant. They impact upon developing kids and young adults by being a part of their lives.

I digress slightly.

Boys will be boys and will do stupid stuff. Dangerous stuff. They are impacted on and influenced by those around them and close to them, particularly the male figures in their lives.

Their Dads are possibly the biggest influence in their lives (those how have Dads around them, of course)

An awesome colleague of mine, Pete Aldin (better known as a Freaked Out Father) has organised a Dads and Lads retreat.

If you’re a Mum of boys aged between 11-13, and terrified as I am (or not )I urge you to  pass this info onto their Dad and encourage them to sign up (please do not force him to do it or tell him you want him to. Let him sort it out for himself).

If you’re a Dad and want to strengthen, create or recreate a bond with your son, and be an awesome role model that he will respect, or you’re just as scared as we Mums of Boys, or you just want a boys weekend away with benefits then I say “do this”

Dads and Lads Retreat … for further info visit http://www.freakedoutfathers.com/upcoming-events/

(No doubt there will also be lots of farting, miscellaneous Chaos, eating and probably some stupid boy stuff thrown in as well. Enjoy!)