Archive for babies
Breast Not Best?
Posted by: | CommentsI really hate it when that happens.
I do a blog post on boobs, and the next day there is a newspaper article on a very similar topic that kinda contradicts what I’m saying.
This particular arcticle, a teensy one by Evonne Barry of the Melbourne Herald Sun pretty much states that:
The sexualisation of women’s bodies has turned a generation off public breastfeeding, according to a maternity report.
The Newspoll survey found 36 percent of poeople aged 18-24 believe breastfeeding is “unacceptable” in the workplace and in cafes, compared with 27% of all adults surveyed.
I do think it is very sad that this exists, and that so many people think like this. I do stand by my argument, however, that women’s bodies, and breasts, are sexual by their very nature.
And the angle I hadn’t considered was the angle that women would find it uncomfortable breastfeeding because boobs have been sexualised. Considering my own thoughts and feelings (and yes, they are mine and mine alone) I guess I don’t like people looking at my boobs when I’m feeding coz it does make me feel a little bit icky. I feel this because they are a sensual part of my body, and, I feel, quite private. Not sure if I’ve explained that terribly well at all!
Anyhoo, if boobs weren’t sexual or sensual in the first place, I don’t believe the issue would be as huge as it is. I don’t believe boobs would be sexualised in the manner that they are if they weren’t sexual or sensual. In which case, it would be a moot point, breasts wouldn’t be sexualised and no one would be able to blame the media for anything. Or for this, anyway.
*sigh*
If only it were all that simple. I really wish we could all just accept and live with both.
As I said in the last boobie post – breasts, like women, are multitasking and multifunctional. Why are we not applauding this diversity of the boob? I know I am.
(Any excuse for a celebratory bubbles, really 
)
Breastfeeding in Public – aren’t we forgetting something?
Posted by: | CommentsI am a breastfeeding Mum. Third time around.
I’m not proud of it.
I’m not not proud of it either.
I just am.
I am also, however, sometimes … embarrassed … ashamed … to be a part of this group.
You see, I was recently part of a discussion with a group of mums with similar interests. I.e. breastfeeding our babies. I use the term ‘discussion’ loosely. It was more someone had a vent about something someone said to them when they were breastfeeding publicly, and everyone jumped in and told their own story (mostly without reading anythign anyone else said).
Whilst I am a very strong advocate for breastfeeding, and think all women deserve the right to choose to breastfeed (or not), in public and without any fear of discrimiation, prejudice or comment from passsers-by, the self-righteousness of some from this group astounded me.
Like it or not, there a people around us who also have very strong beliefs about breastfeeding. Especially breastfeeding in public. It may be religious or cultural beliefs. We have a massive cohort from a particular generation who were brought up on the very belief – rightly or wrongly – that breastfeeding was not ok. That women feeding in public were wanton trollops with no morals. Or whatever.
I’m not debating whether this is right or wrong – just that it is. It’s that people have very strong views about breastfeeding in public; both for and against the practice. I find it extremely hypocritical that some women can stand there and demand respect to feed in public, yet at the same time, totally disrespect that other people have thoughts, feelings, beliefs and values, too.
Sadly, this ‘discussion’ went to the point of suggesting that a kind man, who offered the use of a private room with comfortable chairs for a breastfeeding mother, was “whisking her away so she wouldn’t upset others”, and that feeding rooms were designed to remove breastfeeding mothers from the public eye so as not to offend. Women who choose to hide themselves away are doing the advocacy for the right to breastfeed in public a disservice, perhaps?
That some people do find breastfeeding Mums discomforting or offensive, and that some mums do prefer the quiet and comfort of feeding rooms for numerous reasons is quite beside the point for these women.
I don’t think breastfeeding in public is really the issue here. We have laws that prevent discrimination of this practice, and a media contingent that will jump on any bandwagon where any breastfeeding mother has been slightly wronged. Even if the article makes no sense what-s0-ever or is completely ridiculous. Breastfeeding in public is acceptable in our society, and certainly by a majority of our citizens.
No, the issue is something completely different. Well, there are two issues, really.
The first is that there are a number of people out there who think it is totally acceptable to comment to a breastfeeding woman. And not just any comment either. Particularly nasty comments, at times. People are more polite to someone who lights up a cigarette beside them (“Do you mind blowing that smoke the other way, please?”) than they are to a woman feeding her child. Why anyone thinks it’s ok to do this is beyond me; to speak to anyone in such a manner, for any reason, is just totally unacceptable.
Secondly, why is it that soooo many Mums are, quite frankly, paranoid when they are feeding bubs in public? Why is it that anyone looking at them is “glaring in distaste”? Or two people chatting as they walk by are obviously in disbelief . “Did you see that? She’s breastfeeding! And in public!”
Unless anyone actually comments directly about the feeding, why assume that it’s the problem? Maybe they don’t like what you’re wearing. Or your hair. Maybe you got them on a bad day. Hey, how’s this for a thought … readical as it may seem … maybe it has nothing to do with you at all!
Why is it that a kind man can offer a quiet, comfortable place without being accused of doing the wrong thing? Personally, I would – and have – thank him for thinking of me.
The issue isn’t breastfeeding in public. It’s the lack of respect we, as a society, have for others. And, sometimes, the lack of confidence we have in ourselves and our beliefs.
Mother of the Year – you can be one, too!
Posted by: | CommentsYesterday, the Barnardos Mother of the Year was announced.
A deserving Mother of 5, foster mum and all round busy mother, Pamela Deacon.
Some of her kids have special needs, she’s organising social groups for severely disabled young adults and is just amazing!
I can’t help but feel a little inadquate in her presence … even if that presence is a gorgeous pic in today’s Herald Sun (can’t find a link on their site to show you)
I do wonder, in all her fabulousness, if she’s ever spent 5 hours finding her runners, which she had on her feet the whole time, or located her sunglasses in the egg compartment in the fridge? Has she ever slipped up and been “normal”?
Did she run for the camera when her child had his head stuck under the coffee table, or did she jump to rescue him?
Luckily, there’s an Award for normal and real mums like us – the Real Mum of the Year Award
Nominations close in 10 days.
Have you Nominated a Real Mum today?
Nipple Nazi’s x 2 – no wonder we’re confused!
Posted by: | CommentsIt appears the Nipple Nazis come in two very different flavours.
There’s the one that many mums with new bubs have experienced; those fanatical advocates of the Breast Is Best Brigade who force the issue of breastfeeding on a mother, whether she wants to or not, at the expense of the mother’s thoughts, feelings, beliefs or desires.
(I do not refer to those who support and encourage Mums to breast feed, nor to lactation consultants or similar as a group – just those individuals whom push the issue of breastfeeding without considering Mum! It’s really annoying!)
It now appears that, at the other end of the scale, it’s Facebook !
No, they’re not getting on the bandwagon and shoving boobs down babies throats! They’ve gone on a Nipple Banning Rampage!
No Nips for Facebook.
I was astounded to read the news reports; Facebook are removing pictures of women breastfeeding, based on a ‘no nipple’ rule. Apparently, it’s ‘obscene’!
Fairy nuff they’re working on keeping the site ‘clean’ and family friendly, and I could go on a whole rant about other images exposed on the very same site. But I won’t. Mostly because I’m sure bazillions of others have done a very similar rant.
But I do gotta add – it’s a HUGE suprise that we haven’t seen the heads of millions of Mums worldwide explode!
Not with anger (although that, too). But just another of those situations where we have, on the one shoulder, the messages re the benefits of breastfeeding and why we “should” be doing it, complete with inbuilt Guilt Trips and the like, and on the other, the message that bresatfeeding is “obscene”.
We’ve all heard of, or read the articles, women who have been asked to leave restaurants and the like for feeding boob-style, yet when we fall into a sobbing heap for the lack of social support and ring the helplines, we’re encouraged to continue the fabulous job we’re doing. After all, it is best for baby, they tell us.
Argh!
All power to the fabulous women (and men) who are protesting against this fervent message that women who breastfeed is somewhat akin to an illegally obtained and very private Paris Hilton video (probably still doing the rounds via email).
Of course, when you’re protesting against a 23 year old male billionaire, I’d say you got your work cut out for you. After all, the Paris Hilton clip is probably part of his private collection, and watched on a regular basis. Such is the nature of 23 year old males.
Besides which … you said ‘boobies’ – hehehehehehehehe.
Do we really expect someone for whom boobs are part of their entertainment to be completely empathetic to our cause? Or his, undoubtedly equally young and ‘worldly experienced’ administrative team?
Truth be known, they’re peeved because a baby’s head happens to be in the way of their viewing pleasure.
Superpowers? Surely not!
Posted by: | CommentsDoing the “good mum” thing the other day and playing with the kids at a playground.
(OK, I was feeding the baby whilst texting some friends, and the older two climbed up things the wrong way, and down other things. The wrong way.)
I noticed a woman wearing a shirt that had, across the back “What’s your superpower?”
My immediate thought was it was one of those shirts advertising something – a new rum mixer or similar.
Curiosity got the better of me (as it is wont to do – damn that Curiosity!) and I did the walk around, sneaky glance thing. The front read “I make milk.”
Thus, I make milk, what’s your superpower.
An initiative of the Australian Breastfeeding Association (aka the ABA).
Cool shirt I thought.
With my background in health, my recent study in health and my two, now three, gorgeous boys, I am an breastfeeding advocate. Besides that, it’s just too damned easy for people like me whose heads are too full and they leave the bottles behind.
(Yep, been there and done that too)
I’m well versed on the benefits of breastfeeding, for the baby and the mum. In oh, so many ways! We’ve all had it rammed down our throats, so there’s no need for me to repeat all the research and World Health Organisation stuff again.
However, I am not an advocate at the expense of the mental health of the mother. I firmly believe the health and development of a baby is just as much, if not more, affected by the emotional and psychological health of a mother than it is by what, or how, it is fed.
(Obviously within reason. There are some things a baby should just not be fed. A diet consisting soley of cow’s milk, for example, is proven to be disasterous. Your top shelf Belgian chocolate is also not a good idea, and just a complete waste of chocolate on someone so unappreciative of such things.)
While I firstly thought the shirt was cool, and I’m sure went a long way to encouraging Mums who may have been teetering between feeding styles, or lacking in confidence about their abilities to breastfeed and persist with it, I did begin to wonder whether it gave some mums, particuarly those who have a really easy time breastfeeding and/or are fanatical about it some sort of perception that they were better than mums who bottle feed.
I also wonder what it does for those women who would dearly love to breastfeed, but for some reason – emotional, psychological or physical – are unable. Do these women, who have successfully carried and birthed a baby, and raised it to whatever age, feel some what Super Inadequate as a result of not being able to “make milk”.
I also wonder about those who choose, for whatever reason, not to breastfeed. Do phrases like this place them into some other “lesser category”? Does it make them rise up and protest (unnecessarily as far as I’m concerned) that they’re doing a great job? Or just add another “Guilt” to their already overflowing list?
Or both?
Frankly, it’s not a “super” power. It’s a perfectly natural response to a whole heap of hormonal and physiological goings on in the body after the birth of a baby. Some women have it better or more than others. Just like some experience PMT more or less than others.
“Making milk” is something that “millions of women all over the world do every day” to use a common phrase that is thrown at numerous mums when they make comment about being scared of childbirth/children or when they cry out for help.
I’m quite sure it’s not the ABAs intention to alienate a whole heap of women, and it was designed to encourage a whole heap of others, comments like these can go a long way to adding to the isolation and inadequacies a lot of Mums already feel.
It’s bad enough we have the 80 year old Italian Grandfather next door telling us what to do, without the experts adding to the confusion.
I’m not a fan of the term Super Mum, nor of Mums being labelled “super” for various Mumming activities – or non-mumming activities that they partake in whilst they are Mums.
What I am a fan of is mums feeling “super” for doing the amazing jobs that they do each and every day, regardless of whether they Make Milk, or whether they make those sandwiches filled will all kinds of vegetable type goodness, then cut into little stars and packed into the lunchbox.
Personally, I’m a Vegemite cut into little triangle person myself. And if you don’t like it, don’t eat it, but there’s nothing else for ya!
