Archive for baby
Breast Not Best?
Posted by: | CommentsI really hate it when that happens.
I do a blog post on boobs, and the next day there is a newspaper article on a very similar topic that kinda contradicts what I’m saying.
This particular arcticle, a teensy one by Evonne Barry of the Melbourne Herald Sun pretty much states that:
The sexualisation of women’s bodies has turned a generation off public breastfeeding, according to a maternity report.
The Newspoll survey found 36 percent of poeople aged 18-24 believe breastfeeding is “unacceptable” in the workplace and in cafes, compared with 27% of all adults surveyed.
I do think it is very sad that this exists, and that so many people think like this. I do stand by my argument, however, that women’s bodies, and breasts, are sexual by their very nature.
And the angle I hadn’t considered was the angle that women would find it uncomfortable breastfeeding because boobs have been sexualised. Considering my own thoughts and feelings (and yes, they are mine and mine alone) I guess I don’t like people looking at my boobs when I’m feeding coz it does make me feel a little bit icky. I feel this because they are a sensual part of my body, and, I feel, quite private. Not sure if I’ve explained that terribly well at all!
Anyhoo, if boobs weren’t sexual or sensual in the first place, I don’t believe the issue would be as huge as it is. I don’t believe boobs would be sexualised in the manner that they are if they weren’t sexual or sensual. In which case, it would be a moot point, breasts wouldn’t be sexualised and no one would be able to blame the media for anything. Or for this, anyway.
*sigh*
If only it were all that simple. I really wish we could all just accept and live with both.
As I said in the last boobie post – breasts, like women, are multitasking and multifunctional. Why are we not applauding this diversity of the boob? I know I am.
(Any excuse for a celebratory bubbles, really 
)
Breaking News: Lives at Risk as Safety Barrier Breached
Posted by: | CommentsJust after lunch today a safety barrier was breached putting the lives of 32 LEGO men in danger.
The safety barrier had been in place for some weeks, when just last week the 11 month old discovered he could crawl his way under it. It was reconfigured this morning to prevent access to the area by Mummy, who was, quite frankly, sick of the whinging of the eight year old, despite her numerous requests, pleas and commands that the LEGO men be safely stored in boxes with lids. Not that this is any guarantee of their safety.
Concern increased after the noted disappearance of a LEGO man dressed in chef’s attire and carrying a chicken drumstick. Despite requests by the eight year old of his Mummy to “look through the baby’s poo” in order to locate his whereabouts, he remains unfound, although chances of his reappearance are greatly increased if eight year old will just bloody look for it, will you?!
The culprit was caught scaling the barrier shortly after his lunch of Vegemite sandwiches and cat food.
The LEGO men at risk lay huddled, clearly petrified with terror and unable to move, in the middle of the room until the danger had passed.
The need for a more suitable safety gate will be discussed over the evening meal, although Mummy is, quite frankly, pissed that this will probably be at the expense of a new pair of shoes. For herself.
If anyone knows the whereabouts of the LEGO Chef man, please contact Monkey Boy immediately before Mummy completely loses the plot.
I’m not a SuperMum – I’m just lazy
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s nearing the end of school term. It is Winter. It is, quite frankly, bloody freezing!
(Yet I still have a child who insists on walking the half hour to school in shorts and t-shirt – brrr! Insane! What is wrong with children?!)
Walking in the school gate, I run into another Mum I see occasionally. Not often, but often enough to perform the perfunctory “Hi, how’s things?”
She passed comment about the (her) walk to school being hard work, and thank goodness she rarely does it. I admitted that I was unable to empathise as I walked, to and from school, daily. A good half hour each way.
I lie. It’s a half hour - very little good about it – with the kids, and about 17 minutes on my own. Technically, with the baby. In a pram.
“Wow, no wonder you’re so fit!”
Well, yes, walking that far daily does have an impact, but really the tracksuit pants and daggy top, the unkempt, sweaty looking hair and the shortness of breath are just an illusion. Really, I have no other clean clothes, and you seem to be able to get away with dirty trackies if you’re actually ‘excercising’ in them. The hair looks sweaty, because a) it is, or b) I haven’t washed it for a few days. The shortness of breath is because I’m not really as fit as I used to be, and pushing a bloody pram up a hill while yelling at two kids to “Hurry up!” every 3 steps takes it out of you.
“Thanks” I mumble.
“You are a SuperMum” she continues. “You’re just amazing, walking every day. And what a great thing to be teaching your kids. You’re amazing.”
Um, no. No, you’ve got it all wrong.
Yes, I’m aware of the benefits of walking dailly and doing some excercise and all the rest of it on my physical and mental health. I’m aware that these habits will rub off (hopefully) on my kids, and I’m getting them active before they start their day at school, and the whole childhood obesity thing etc etc blah blah blah.
But, really, I’m not a SuperMum. Nor am I particularly amazing.
The reality of it is, I’m just very lazy. Very, very lazy.
My pet hate – hate – is buckling the kids into the car. I’d much rather walk for half an hour, pushing a pram up a hill, with them in tow and urging them on with increasing levels of frustration than put them in the car.
I’ve even been know to get partway through the morning routine, look at the clock and think “Ah, fuck it! I’m going to have to drive today,” then get to 5 minutes past the time we absolutely must be out of the house to walk, and walk anyway.
I don’t have time to have a shower in the mornings. And it’s much easier to pull on yesterday’s trackies that are lying on the floor than attempt to locate a clean pair of jeans. As for shoes, I’ll trip over my runners or locate them in the freezer when I go searching for bread with which to make their lunches.
Besides, their complaints, fighting and boisterousness is much, much less painful on my brain than when performed inside a vehicle.
None of this is to discredit the benefits and “good” of what I am actually doing. Just don’t put me on a pedestal or compare your behaviours to mine, especially to undermine yourself … coz you’ve probably got it more than a little muddled.
Breastfeeding in Public – aren’t we forgetting something?
Posted by: | CommentsI am a breastfeeding Mum. Third time around.
I’m not proud of it.
I’m not not proud of it either.
I just am.
I am also, however, sometimes … embarrassed … ashamed … to be a part of this group.
You see, I was recently part of a discussion with a group of mums with similar interests. I.e. breastfeeding our babies. I use the term ‘discussion’ loosely. It was more someone had a vent about something someone said to them when they were breastfeeding publicly, and everyone jumped in and told their own story (mostly without reading anythign anyone else said).
Whilst I am a very strong advocate for breastfeeding, and think all women deserve the right to choose to breastfeed (or not), in public and without any fear of discrimiation, prejudice or comment from passsers-by, the self-righteousness of some from this group astounded me.
Like it or not, there a people around us who also have very strong beliefs about breastfeeding. Especially breastfeeding in public. It may be religious or cultural beliefs. We have a massive cohort from a particular generation who were brought up on the very belief – rightly or wrongly – that breastfeeding was not ok. That women feeding in public were wanton trollops with no morals. Or whatever.
I’m not debating whether this is right or wrong – just that it is. It’s that people have very strong views about breastfeeding in public; both for and against the practice. I find it extremely hypocritical that some women can stand there and demand respect to feed in public, yet at the same time, totally disrespect that other people have thoughts, feelings, beliefs and values, too.
Sadly, this ‘discussion’ went to the point of suggesting that a kind man, who offered the use of a private room with comfortable chairs for a breastfeeding mother, was “whisking her away so she wouldn’t upset others”, and that feeding rooms were designed to remove breastfeeding mothers from the public eye so as not to offend. Women who choose to hide themselves away are doing the advocacy for the right to breastfeed in public a disservice, perhaps?
That some people do find breastfeeding Mums discomforting or offensive, and that some mums do prefer the quiet and comfort of feeding rooms for numerous reasons is quite beside the point for these women.
I don’t think breastfeeding in public is really the issue here. We have laws that prevent discrimination of this practice, and a media contingent that will jump on any bandwagon where any breastfeeding mother has been slightly wronged. Even if the article makes no sense what-s0-ever or is completely ridiculous. Breastfeeding in public is acceptable in our society, and certainly by a majority of our citizens.
No, the issue is something completely different. Well, there are two issues, really.
The first is that there are a number of people out there who think it is totally acceptable to comment to a breastfeeding woman. And not just any comment either. Particularly nasty comments, at times. People are more polite to someone who lights up a cigarette beside them (“Do you mind blowing that smoke the other way, please?”) than they are to a woman feeding her child. Why anyone thinks it’s ok to do this is beyond me; to speak to anyone in such a manner, for any reason, is just totally unacceptable.
Secondly, why is it that soooo many Mums are, quite frankly, paranoid when they are feeding bubs in public? Why is it that anyone looking at them is “glaring in distaste”? Or two people chatting as they walk by are obviously in disbelief . “Did you see that? She’s breastfeeding! And in public!”
Unless anyone actually comments directly about the feeding, why assume that it’s the problem? Maybe they don’t like what you’re wearing. Or your hair. Maybe you got them on a bad day. Hey, how’s this for a thought … readical as it may seem … maybe it has nothing to do with you at all!
Why is it that a kind man can offer a quiet, comfortable place without being accused of doing the wrong thing? Personally, I would – and have – thank him for thinking of me.
The issue isn’t breastfeeding in public. It’s the lack of respect we, as a society, have for others. And, sometimes, the lack of confidence we have in ourselves and our beliefs.
Mother of the Year – you can be one, too!
Posted by: | CommentsYesterday, the Barnardos Mother of the Year was announced.
A deserving Mother of 5, foster mum and all round busy mother, Pamela Deacon.
Some of her kids have special needs, she’s organising social groups for severely disabled young adults and is just amazing!
I can’t help but feel a little inadquate in her presence … even if that presence is a gorgeous pic in today’s Herald Sun (can’t find a link on their site to show you)
I do wonder, in all her fabulousness, if she’s ever spent 5 hours finding her runners, which she had on her feet the whole time, or located her sunglasses in the egg compartment in the fridge? Has she ever slipped up and been “normal”?
Did she run for the camera when her child had his head stuck under the coffee table, or did she jump to rescue him?
Luckily, there’s an Award for normal and real mums like us – the Real Mum of the Year Award
Nominations close in 10 days.
Have you Nominated a Real Mum today?
Inconvenient, yes, devastating, no!
Posted by: | CommentsOk – so we had to go the “formula administration” route, for two reasons:
1. to get Chippie’s weight up to a more acceptable level (waaaaay off the chart was a big concern for all), and;
2. to see if he would put on weight with formula, basically to rule something in or out.
If he put on weight, great and we kinda had an idea what the cause was. If he didn’t, then we knew to look elsewhere.
(Blood test results also pending).
Bugger! Inconvenient, but doable. Better than a starved to death child.
Of course, the days I start it, he gets a cold and my boob issues flair up (an excruciating pain cycling with mild pain, and including things like shooting pain, blocked pain, and general pain – argh! – ongoing since an injury early on in the piece) causing pain, and what appears to be a blockage.
All kinds of things go through my head (I read FAR too many parenting books and listen to too many people) …the formula has decreased his immune system, he prefers the bottle, my milk will dry up, I’m a failure as a Mother .. and all the usual. Not easy to do when your boob fluctuates between feeling like its going to explode and keeping up up at night, to pain, what pain?
Many thanks to the two amazing women I spoke to at the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA), who worked with me on working out other possible scenarios for the screamy feeding and sore booby … thus helping me work through the problem.
No thanks to the silly woman who told me I “must be devastated” about “inflicting formula” on my baby!
Inconvenient, yes. Devastating would be more along the lines of having my baby become seriously ill, or dying perhaps, due to malnutrition. Or losing my house and family to a bushfire.
It has, however, reinforced why I don’t want to bottle feed. Nope, I’m still not feeling guilty.
My mind has been taken off the pain in my boob, thanks to the pain in my toe after smaking it into the bottom step and removing a chunk of toenail at 2am. Something I was never at risk of when moving from bedroom to bedroom to breast feed. A jaunt to the kitchen to grab a bottle and take it back, it appears, has put me at risk of serious injury!
Course, pain is now numbed by fatigue, now I’m staying up longer and wandering darkened corridors at Stupid O’Clock.
And if one more person tells me how great bottle feeding is, and it will be easier, because my Darling Husband can help, they may very well be stabbed with a silicone nipple-replica!
See, he gets up very early, and I’m a nice wife and see little point in us both being extremely grumpy. Besides, he won’t wake up, despite how much I poke and prod him. And he’s not home during the day.
Helping, my bum!
On the upside, I do have a night out planned in a few weeks. Might even be a sleepover … and they’ll have to cope without me.
Inconvenient … at times, yes … but maybe not.
Why I don’t want to bottle feed.
Posted by: | CommentsThank you to all the lovely Mums on the Retell Therapy Forums who have supported me over the last few weeks with the issue of baby number three (aka Chippie) and his weight loss and lack of growth.
Yes, we are concerned. Mostly because the GP and the paediatrician are.
We’re still awaiting the results of some tests. But it may be an issue as simple as he just isn’t getting enough breast milk.
For whatever reason.
The GP, the MCHN and the paediatrician have all made the suggestion that, depending on results, he may need to be given comp feeds, ie formula feeds administered via a recepticle of some sort. Usually a bottle. A babies one, not a wine bottle.
Argh!
Thank you for all who have assured me that this does not make me a bad mother. For assuring me there’s no need to feel guilty and that I’ve done nothing wrong. That sometimes these things just happen.
Your support has been incredible.
But .. you’ve all been missing the point.
Yes, the health of my baby is important and I will do what I need to do to make sure he’s ok.
I don’t feel guilty, inadequate or any of the above for (possibly needing to) bottle feeding.
I do, however, have some very good reasons for not wanting to bottle feed.
1. Last night, I set the coffee machine like normal. It’s an automatic, permanent filter machine. I can set it the night before to go off in the morning. I did.
I came out this morning, and had forgotten to add coffee. All I had was a pot of very hot water.
2. This morning, when I went to sterilise the breast pump using the microwave steriliser, I put it in the fridge. Well, I tried. It took me several minutes to work it out, but I only realised I was doing the wrong thing after rearranging things in the fridge so it would fit.
3. Tonight, when I set the coffee machine, I put the water where the water goes.
Then, I put my last four remaining scoops of coffee where the water goes. Buggering the machine and leaving me coffeeless for tomorrow morning.
Is there anyone else out there that can see why I shouldn’t be bottle feeding?
Or is it just me that feels it will just be a little bit too far out of my capabilities?
Why the Breastfeeding Brigade Pee Me Off!
Posted by: | CommentsI do feel the need to preface this post by saying that I am an advocate for breastfeeding. A very strong advocate for it. I’m well aware of the many benefits of breastfeeding, from bonding, baby development, and particularly the nurtitional aspect.
I have a strong background in health relating to nutrition and excercise. I’m well aware of where the World Health Organisation (WHO) stand in realtion to breastfeeding, and other health issues. Including the factors that impact upon the mental and emotional wellbeing of mothers, and their families.
I don’t feel I have to justify myself. I just feel the need to let people know where I stand in relation to breastfeeding, because whenever I stand up for Mums who choose not to (or can’t) breastfeed, I’m usually torn to pieces and condemned as one of those whom has no interest in the health and well-being of my child etc etc blah blah. Those of you also on the end of it will understand.
Those of you who are dishing it out will no doubt have very valid reasons for your doing so.
Anyway … why the Breastfeeding Brigade really P*** me off.
It started when I was surfing blogs (‘scuse my lack of techno talk – do you ‘surf blogs’ or just the ‘net?) and came across a link on the pages of that of a prominent parenting advocate, lactation consultant and soother of babies (someone I respect very much, so am loathe to use her name in this instance) … a link that indicated Everything you need to know about breastfeeding before you have your baby.
“Wow! Cool,” I thought to myself. “This will be interesting reading.”
Until I got to point one, which pretty much stated that your new baby, after it’s drug free and natural arrival into the world, would locate your breast on it’s own and suckle to it’s little heart’s content.
Right. Ok. Good point.
I read on, looking for the other points under the ‘everything’ – where was the bit for people who did have drugs during labour? What about babies who went to special care nursery? Or, for some reason, either couldn’t or wouldn’t locate the breast? Or had issues attaching or sucking or … myriad other issues that can go wrong.
I know my first pregnancy, my plan was a drug free, vaginal birth. Ok, I lie, I was open to the option of drugs. Like, in the carpark. But vaginal it was. It said it on my birth plan.
24 hours and an emergency cesarean later, there went the vaginal and drug free. Two doses, thank you very much!
I also didn’t see my brand new baby for two hours .. for various reasons I won’t go into.
Now, I have no problem with the information in this piece of writing. There was some very good advice in there.
The problem I have is the lack of information. The “clean and swaddled Johnson & Johnson baby suckling serenely at my breast moments after giving birth, while I gazed lovingly and (also) serenely on” are in every book you pick up.
Information I could have used, and others I have since spoken to, is the information pertaining to breastfeeding after labouring for 24 hours and having a c-section and not seeing your baby for 2 hours.
Fortunately, he didn’t have to go into the special care nursery. There’s more info needed there.
As it turned out, our first feed was amazing.
Amazing, because I lay in recovery, baby and husbandless, for two hours, with all the “Get your baby on the breast immediately, or you will have feeding problems and never bond” going through my head, and telling myself what a failure of a mother I was.
And I’d only just begun that particular journey.
I guess what I’m saying is that it doesn’t always go to plan. And the information (yes, yes, I know natural, drug free births etc etc blah blah are “all for the best for mother and baby” etc etc blah blah) out there can inadvertently cause stress, sometimes unnecessary stress, and lead to some serious emotional issues for mums.
Depression among them.
Everything you need to know about breastfeeding before you have your baby covers more than “births according to our heart’s desire”. Not that a drug free, vaginal birth is everyone’s desire either, but that’s another post.
A broad reference to other issues wouldn’t go astray, and would do a load of good for many women.
That set me off on my little “breast is best” high horse canter.
What kept me up there was a little stoush on facebook with someone on the Breastfeeding Brigade – and someone clearly on it for the ride, and not an expert or someone who knew what they were talking about.
Yup. The “Bottle feeding is obscene” comment that headed my way.
Did I mention not everything with birth and breastfeeding goes to plan?
The backpeddling came close to reversing the Earth’s rotation.
It’s one thing to leave out a heap of pertinant information when you’re talking about “Everything”. An oversight, a strong personal view, a whatever … who knows.
It’s quite another to make broad, sweeping statements about people’s choices, or, in quite a number of cases, their circumstances which prevent choice … in this case, bottle feeding … then attempt to justify by saying “oh, I was only talking about those who …” only when confronted.
Broad sweeping statements, particularly those uttered out of ignorance, have a much broader impact on mother’s than is considered. It impacts significanly on their mental and emotional health.
It can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure. Even depression.
Ironically, it can cause so much stress as to impact upon breastfeeding to a point where mother’s are physically unable to continue.
No, when you make a broad sweeping statement, we don’t get that you’re not talking about us; those who, by choice or circumstance, don’t have drug free births, or breastfeed.
Broad sweeping statements include us. ALL of us. You included.
In saying that – not all the Breastfeeding Brigade Pee me off – just those of you who speak before you think. Or worse, think that everyone is the same as you.
Birthing with the aid of drugs is ok.
Bottle feeding is not offensive.
What is offensive is saying that it is.
