Archive for breastfeeding
Ten Things Boobs Can be Used For
Posted by: | CommentsI know I’m banging on about boobs at bit, but I’m at that lifestage, so they seem to be the forefront (pardon the pun) of many parts of my life at the moment.
After an incident today, where Chippie used my right nipple to hoist himself up out of the cot, to take my mind off the pain, I came up with a list of things boobs could be used for:
1. To hoist yourself up out of a cot
2. To stop yourself going under when you slip in the bath
3. As a pillow
4. As a resting spot for pointy things, like elbows, knees and chins when you’re watching telly
5. To hold your top open, so you can collect stray bits of food to save for later
6. To hold your top open so you have easy access to nibbles between meals
7.To catch food so you don’t then later have to sweep the floor
8. To hide under when it’s raining so you don’t get wet
9. To wipe down the edge of the bath when you’re reaching in trying to catch a wriggling baby who doesn’t want to get out
10. Somewhere for babies and children to wipe their snotty noses or grubby faces so they don’t dirty a good, clean facewasher
(Of course, they are also used for breastfeeding, for men to look at and feel, and for Mummy cuddles to fix everything … this is just a list of alternative, oft forgotten uses 
)
Am I the only sensible breastfeeding mum in this country?
Posted by: | CommentsI preface this post by reminding that I am a breastfeeding Mum. I am aware of the benefits of breastfeeding. I am an advocate for breastfeeding in public, and will defend a woman’s right to breastfeed. This is not justification. This is to prevent the flurry of incorrect emails & comments regarding my non-breastfeeding ways. Is there anybody else out there that sees the problem with this? Anyone that can see the … silliness, nay, stupidity in this? Are they serious?
Now, let me be clear, I am all for mums returning to work. I’m an advocate for workplaces being family friendly. I’m not suggesting that workplaces don’t take steps to cater for breastfeeding mums.
But … seriously? Come on. There’s yet another outrage on the web about a woman who was asked to express in a car, and forced to make up for work time spent expressing.
Horror. Outrage. Disgust! This is apalling, an abhorrent way to treat a breastfeeding woman. Because she is breastfeeding!
Here’s an example of such a story.
Is it just me, or can anyone else see the ridiculousness of this? From where I sit, employers pay people to work. If they’re not working, why shouldn’t they have to make up the time? Employers employ people so they can keep their businesses going, provide a service for their customers and/or the community and keep the economy going. If employees don’t perform their duties, the business goes belly up and, surprise, the employee is out of a job.
Being a breastfeeding mum is not going to stop you being out of a job when there is no business for you to work in.
That’s not discrimination, that’s doing the job you are paid to do!
And, yes, as an employer I’d be pretty annoyed to. Not because of the breastfeeding / expressing, but because I was paying you to do something you’re not! I feel the same about smokers and people who use their mobiile phone on my hours.
To be perfectly honest, the employer, whether a private or public business, has other things on their mind than the private lives of their employees. The lives of their employees outside of the workplace are generally not at the forefront of their minds. Or on their minds at all that matter. And for some businesses, creating an environment suitable for breastfeeding and/or expressing is an expense they can ill afford.
Purchase ergonomic chairs to comply with worksafe and so they don’t get sued, or throw someone out of an office and renovate it so they don’t get done for imaginary discrimination? It’s a financial, and time cost, that is not necessarily a priority.
And, imagine this:
Your bus driver stops the bus, mid route, and asks everyone to hop off so she can breastfeed in private.
“Yeah, really sorry I had to pop out during your husband’s open heart surgery. It is a shame he died, but, you know, the baby needed a feed.”
“If you could just stand there with your hands up for another 20 minutes, I just need to express, then I’ll go about either arresting you or shooting you. Thanks, I’d appreciate it.”
Oh, and they’d have to comply because you are a breastfeeding mother. If they don’t you could whinge and complain really loudly, and probably sue for discrimination.
And no, I’m not being stupid. That’s exactly what these stories are implying you’re asking for. Where do we draw the line?
As a breastfeeding employee, I respected the conditions under which I was employed. I worked around my feeds. The breastfeeding was my issue, not my employers, although they were generous and supportive. I wasn’t prepared to sabotage their business for my own needs.
Sadly, I believe if this ridiculousness continues, it’s going to get worse for breastfeeding mums. It won’t be long before they will be spoken about like we do about smokers .. with contempt, about how they’re allowed to take extra long tea breaks and don’t care about the impact they’re having on the business and rest of the staff. Other employees will resent them, bitch about them, and make their life hard.
The difference between smokers and breastfeeding mums is that smokers aren’t as emotionally vulnerable, and don’t take the abuse as personally as breastfeeding mums.
It’s my personal opinion that the breastfeeding organisations and supporters who are behind this are doing some serious damage to their cause, and potentially creating a situation where breastfeeding mums are unemployable.
Or would be if people could get away with not employing them. Also, they’re scaring people off breastfeeding. Why would they continue if this is what they beleive (thanks to the very loud rhetoric) happens to breastfeeding mums in the workplace?
And while smokers (a habit I abhor, and if I had my way, I wouldn’t employ them, either) may take extra long breaks, at least they don’t cause this kind of trouble for their employers.
(Yes, I’m aware of the health implications of smoking and the health benefits of breastfeeding – so if I can’t compare the two of them here, nor can anyone else when complaining about how smokers can take longer breaks and breastfeeders are (allegedly) discrimiated against).
Breastfeeding mums are either paranoid or sanctimonious
Posted by: | CommentsYou may or may not recall, but I recently conducted a survey on Breast and Bottle feeding in public places. Thanks to the fabulous 446 women who responded – very much appreciated!
The aim of the survey, really, was to get some awesome comebacks for when people commented to mums who were feeding their babies in public, either with their boobs, or with a bottle.
Sadly, aside from the suggestion of “If you are offended bymy breastfeeding, please feel free to put a blanket over your own head”, which has been around for aaaages and “Fuck Off” as suggested by a number of respondants to the survey, we didn’t get what we wanted out of the survey.
The survey pretty much consisted of 5 questions:
1. If you feed/ever fed your baby in public did you breast feed (91.3%) or bottle feed (34.8%) – the crossover of numbers reflects those that did both breast and bottle feeding in public.
2. Did you ever feel uncomfortable feeding your baby in public? Yes or No – Please explain the Yes.
3. Did you ever receive any comments, postive or negative, from the general public whilst feeding?
4. If “Yes” to the previous question, how did (or didn’t) you respond? and
5. What do you wish you had said? What would you like to have said or would say if in the same situation again? Don’t hold back! … what would you really like to have said? (this last one being the whole point of the excercise).
Whilst we weren’t then able to come up with a list of 10 Great Responses To People Who Comment on You Feeding Your Baby In Public, the research resulted in some great, and not so great, observations.
We discovered breastfeeding mums are paranoid and/or sanctimonious, and bottle feeding women are self-denigrating – BIG TIME!
Interestingly, despite nowhere in the survey asking for it, a number of responses from those who breastfed referred to the “poison” of forumla and a number of quite dispariging remarks regarding formula, bottle feeding and/or bottle feeders.
On the plus side of this, this number wasn’t huge (6% of respondees) but enough to note it’s presence.
A slightly greater number (just over 9%) of bottle feeding mums answerd “No” to the uncomfortable feeding in public because they “couldn’t breastfeed, so I didn’t breastfeed them in public”. Um, that wasn’t the criteria - we asked about feeding in public and specified breast OR bottle. When I lasted check, giving a baby a bottle of formula was still feeding them, right? Or did I miss something somewhere. The sad thing was the way they spoke about themselves in relation to their inability to breastfeed. Made us cry.
As for being uncomfortable feeding in public, a majority said the didn’t feel uncomfortable (56.5%) and 43.5% did. The most common response for feeling uncomfortable was a wriggly baby who pulled off and they didn’t want everyone to see their boobs. Second most common, and nowhere near as many, said they did feel uncomfortable when first attempting breastfeeding in public, but once they got the hang of it, they were mostly ok. And Fathers-in-law were a big culprit, with a few stating they didn’t like breastfeeding in front of theirs.
A few bottle feeders also felt awkward, ashamed or as though they were/would be judged.
As far as comments went, 41.3% said that no one had commented to them at all when feeding, and 58.7% had had someone comment. An overwhelming 61% of these comments were positive. Of the remaining 39% although respondants had ticked yes, almost half of those weren’t actually comments, just people “looking at me”. Some where quite obvious glares, and one a weird lady. The remainder were not necessarily distaste, and could have just been “glancing in my direction”.
Again, interestingly, considering the amount of media related to bresatfeeding mums being discriminated against, of the remaining “negative comments” only 2% were directed to breastfeeding mums, and of those, most were teenage boys sniggering. And one husband who vehemently objected, using the word “tart”. Hrm. The rest of the negative comments were directed at bottle feeding mums, particularly pertaining to “breast is best”, one mum being told she could not use the parents room as they were for breastfeeding mums only, and several being verbally attacked.
So, while some breastfeeding mums were seriously sanctimonious, and some bottle feeding mums were seriously self-denigrating, the number was few, which is nice.
And breastfeeding mums did appear to be just a wee bit (ok, a lot) paranoid when it came to feeding in public, most more worried about what people might think or be thinking, not what was actually happening. Would be lovely to see them not so paranoid and just do it.
Particularly when most (98%) of the negative comments were directed at bottle feeding mums! I can understand why they may be self-denigrating (but please get over it, it’s not good for anyone!)
The bit we liked most, however, was not so much the fact that almost half the respondants hadn’t had anyone comment, but that of those that did have someone comment, they were positive comments. And some very lovely ones in there, too. It warmed our hearts to know that a majority of people said nice things to mums feeding their babies, and mostly breastfeeding mums. Makes a lovely change from everything else we’re hearing about the way breastfeeding mums are treated and spoken to.
Once again, sorry we can’t yet produce a list of Awesome Comebacks, and we thank everyone for taking the time to complete our survey, share your stories and be honest about your experiences. It was greatly appreciated.
Breast Not Best?
Posted by: | CommentsI really hate it when that happens.
I do a blog post on boobs, and the next day there is a newspaper article on a very similar topic that kinda contradicts what I’m saying.
This particular arcticle, a teensy one by Evonne Barry of the Melbourne Herald Sun pretty much states that:
The sexualisation of women’s bodies has turned a generation off public breastfeeding, according to a maternity report.
The Newspoll survey found 36 percent of poeople aged 18-24 believe breastfeeding is “unacceptable” in the workplace and in cafes, compared with 27% of all adults surveyed.
I do think it is very sad that this exists, and that so many people think like this. I do stand by my argument, however, that women’s bodies, and breasts, are sexual by their very nature.
And the angle I hadn’t considered was the angle that women would find it uncomfortable breastfeeding because boobs have been sexualised. Considering my own thoughts and feelings (and yes, they are mine and mine alone) I guess I don’t like people looking at my boobs when I’m feeding coz it does make me feel a little bit icky. I feel this because they are a sensual part of my body, and, I feel, quite private. Not sure if I’ve explained that terribly well at all!
Anyhoo, if boobs weren’t sexual or sensual in the first place, I don’t believe the issue would be as huge as it is. I don’t believe boobs would be sexualised in the manner that they are if they weren’t sexual or sensual. In which case, it would be a moot point, breasts wouldn’t be sexualised and no one would be able to blame the media for anything. Or for this, anyway.
*sigh*
If only it were all that simple. I really wish we could all just accept and live with both.
As I said in the last boobie post – breasts, like women, are multitasking and multifunctional. Why are we not applauding this diversity of the boob? I know I am.
(Any excuse for a celebratory bubbles, really )
Boobs, bottles, broccoli and burgers – what are we dealing with, really?
Posted by: | CommentsBreastfeeding and Broccoli really aren’t of any benefit; they contribute very little to our society and holds very little appeal.
Bottlefeeding and Burgers, on the other hand, and particularly the mass produced, high in trans-fats burgers and marketed to children type, are much more giving.
I refer, of course to a post I did a few weeks back and promised a “coming soon” post. I said something like:
I know how business operates and know that, in order to keep a buisness functioning and hopefully make a living out of it, you pull out all stops … but that’s for another post (coming soon!)
And here it is!
Now, lets take a look at all of this realistically. There’s a lot of uproar about the way fast foods are marketed, the amount of advertising, who it is targeting and when the adverts are played. There’s a lot of similar concern around the way baby forumula is advertised. There is a lot of research showing the effects of this advertising in relation to not just the purchase and consumption of these items, but also the impacts that consumption has on the consumers.
And, ultimately, society as a whole.
The health impacts alone are phenomonally huge, without considering impacts on the enviroment, landfill, etc etc
What, realistically, are we dealing with?
Let’s look at the advertising and marketing alone … although there are many, many more issues relating to this topic that could be discussed. Manufactured foods is big business. HUGE business. It makes a lot of money for the people who make the stuff. And sell it.
To be quite frank, they really don’t care whether your kids are fat, unhealthy, whingy, whiney or naggy. So long as you buy the stuff.
It seems the lower the nutritional value, the more they push it. They spend BIG bucks on this advertising and obviously have the budget for it.
Interesting to note (well, not really, but I had to start the sentence somehow) that these products also attract a GST, with the exception of baby formula (and other baby foods). GST paid goes back to our government, which in turn uses it for useful things like schools and hospitals and roads and casinos. More often casinos than schools or hospitals, but, again, different post. In a nutshell – they incur tax, governement gets tax.
Boobs and broccoli contribute very little to the government’s coffers.
Now, I may be being more than a little cynical here, but can’t help but think “boy’s club”. You know, big business owners (the manufacturers of baby formula fit into this category) in cahoots with our politicians and all the rest of it.
I just can’t help be cynical when the government some years back ran an ad campaign to promote the consumption of fruit and veg and research showed that, during the ad campaign, fruit and veg consumption increased. This increase was directly attributed to the advertising campaign. Now they’re saying, when asked about fast food advertising, they deny any connection between advertising of certain foods and consumption of foods.
If we look at it realistically, the leaders of our country, at state an national levels, aren’t forking out big dollars for the advertising of low nutrition and/or high energy foods. Someone else is. Yet they’re getting something back, in the form of dollars from the sale of these food items, and the promotion of them. No doubt there’s also a bit of “you scratch our back, we’ll scratch yours” going on as well. But what they do in private is best kept private 
On the other hand, promotion of breastfeeding and consumption of fresh foodstuffs is left to those small business owners with very limited marketing budget. And the government!
They have to fork over our dollars to promote the consumption of these foods. Not only that, but they don’t get anything back for it!
Technically, they get lots back from it in terms of a happier, heathier more productive community, taking far fewer sick days, less falling asleep when driving and operating heavy machinery and not contributing to the strain on the publich health system, but that is far more complicated than “We promote stuff and don’t get money for it.”
So, until they can find a way to get money out of breastmilk – and I’m talking billions – or place a tax on fresh produce without being lynched for it, I think we have our work cut out for us.
Personally, I think looking at what we’re really dealing with; the income received from these items, and the relationships between big business and our leaders as individuals or political parties, and working with these real issues then we can get somewhere. Continually going around in circles about the effects of advertising on consumption of foods “yes it does, no it doesn’t” style isn’t going to get us very far at all.
I don’t know what the solution is … well, I do, just getting the decison makers to admit and acknowledge what’s really going on is a different story. I don’t know how to get them to do that.
*sigh*
It’s almost like working with a three year old. Only they’re bigger, louder and more obnoxious, and there’s more of them.
Just like many parents with a three year old, as a society, we don’t seem to be able to say “no” to them, either.
(If you do want to make a difference to the way products are marketed and advertised check out and join Parents Jury Australia and/or sign the petition to help prevent the unethical marketing of those selling infant formula).
This is how we change the world
Posted by: | CommentsCame across this on Pink Heels and thought it appropriate following my post re Breastfeeding in Public.
This is how we change the world …
Say hello
Say thank you
Say goodbye
Say it to friends and family
Say it to people you pass on the street
Always say it with a smile on your face
Pass it on …
(And in light of my post – say it to women you see breastfeeding (or bottlefeeding) in public, and say it to those who look at you or comment to you when you are feeding in public 
)
Breastfeeding in Public – aren’t we forgetting something?
Posted by: | CommentsI am a breastfeeding Mum. Third time around.
I’m not proud of it.
I’m not not proud of it either.
I just am.
I am also, however, sometimes … embarrassed … ashamed … to be a part of this group.
You see, I was recently part of a discussion with a group of mums with similar interests. I.e. breastfeeding our babies. I use the term ‘discussion’ loosely. It was more someone had a vent about something someone said to them when they were breastfeeding publicly, and everyone jumped in and told their own story (mostly without reading anythign anyone else said).
Whilst I am a very strong advocate for breastfeeding, and think all women deserve the right to choose to breastfeed (or not), in public and without any fear of discrimiation, prejudice or comment from passsers-by, the self-righteousness of some from this group astounded me.
Like it or not, there a people around us who also have very strong beliefs about breastfeeding. Especially breastfeeding in public. It may be religious or cultural beliefs. We have a massive cohort from a particular generation who were brought up on the very belief – rightly or wrongly – that breastfeeding was not ok. That women feeding in public were wanton trollops with no morals. Or whatever.
I’m not debating whether this is right or wrong – just that it is. It’s that people have very strong views about breastfeeding in public; both for and against the practice. I find it extremely hypocritical that some women can stand there and demand respect to feed in public, yet at the same time, totally disrespect that other people have thoughts, feelings, beliefs and values, too.
Sadly, this ‘discussion’ went to the point of suggesting that a kind man, who offered the use of a private room with comfortable chairs for a breastfeeding mother, was “whisking her away so she wouldn’t upset others”, and that feeding rooms were designed to remove breastfeeding mothers from the public eye so as not to offend. Women who choose to hide themselves away are doing the advocacy for the right to breastfeed in public a disservice, perhaps?
That some people do find breastfeeding Mums discomforting or offensive, and that some mums do prefer the quiet and comfort of feeding rooms for numerous reasons is quite beside the point for these women.
I don’t think breastfeeding in public is really the issue here. We have laws that prevent discrimination of this practice, and a media contingent that will jump on any bandwagon where any breastfeeding mother has been slightly wronged. Even if the article makes no sense what-s0-ever or is completely ridiculous. Breastfeeding in public is acceptable in our society, and certainly by a majority of our citizens.
No, the issue is something completely different. Well, there are two issues, really.
The first is that there are a number of people out there who think it is totally acceptable to comment to a breastfeeding woman. And not just any comment either. Particularly nasty comments, at times. People are more polite to someone who lights up a cigarette beside them (“Do you mind blowing that smoke the other way, please?”) than they are to a woman feeding her child. Why anyone thinks it’s ok to do this is beyond me; to speak to anyone in such a manner, for any reason, is just totally unacceptable.
Secondly, why is it that soooo many Mums are, quite frankly, paranoid when they are feeding bubs in public? Why is it that anyone looking at them is “glaring in distaste”? Or two people chatting as they walk by are obviously in disbelief . “Did you see that? She’s breastfeeding! And in public!”
Unless anyone actually comments directly about the feeding, why assume that it’s the problem? Maybe they don’t like what you’re wearing. Or your hair. Maybe you got them on a bad day. Hey, how’s this for a thought … readical as it may seem … maybe it has nothing to do with you at all!
Why is it that a kind man can offer a quiet, comfortable place without being accused of doing the wrong thing? Personally, I would – and have – thank him for thinking of me.
The issue isn’t breastfeeding in public. It’s the lack of respect we, as a society, have for others. And, sometimes, the lack of confidence we have in ourselves and our beliefs.
