My 8 year old son has this … thing he does.
I hate it.
Whenever I ask him to do something he doesn’t want to do, like, for example, throw the rubbish he’s just handed me into the bin or put his dirty clothes in the wash, without hesitation, he turns to his six year old brother and says “Can you put this in the bin/wash for me?”
(And little brother does it, without hesitation – grrrrr)
And every time he does it I find myself saying “Hey, that’s not nice. Do it yourself!”
Sometimes I’ve had longer conversations about treating people like slaves. But that’s only because he’s managed to convince his younger brother that he is, in fact, his slave and must “do his bidding”. That’s a whole other post.
Every time he does it, I cringe. Ever time I hear myself saying “Stop it” I wonder what the cringe is about.
It’s because he can delegate a task he doesn’t want to do, nicely, without hesitation, without fear of upsetting someone or making them feel like they’re being used, and without thinking twice.
What I hate about it is that he can do it and I can’t.
It’s a skill, a quality that I really wish I owned, and something I’ve worked very hard on for the last few years. In fact, something I’m still working on – how to delegate a task without feeling bad/guilty for it.
What I don’t like about my son is he has something I really want.
And when I grow up, I want to be just like him! Because he’s awesome!
The cynic in me (or perhaps its the realist in me) has long believed that if you mention the word “wedding” or “baby” the price of stuff goes up. Add an extra “0″ to the price.
I also believe, particularly in relation to babies, there is a whole heap of crap “they” try to sell you that you don’t really need. I like to call it “Emotional Blackmail”.
Some of these things are downright ridiculous. Seriously, are we so intent on breeding an entire generation of kids who have zero concept that there is perhaps a little bit of discomfort in the world.
If this isn’t Extreme Overprotective Parenting (EOP) then I don’t know what is. Welcome to the Baby Wipe Warmer!
(My first thought when I saw these was “Are you fucking kidding me?!” And I don’t usually swear in reviews)
Let me be upfront, as that is the point of a good review. I don’t actually own one of these, because I’m not stupid enough to buy one myself, and even my friends who purchase me the most ironic of gifts would know they’d have it thrown back at their heads within moments of me unwrapping it.
Aside from neglecting your child from experiencing a bit of reality for a mere 3 seconds at a time (and if it didn’t poo so often, it wouldn’t experience this abuse on such a regular basis) and depriving yourself of the enjoyment of payback with a cold, moist cloth, you also get to pay for the privelege of owning one. At the expense of your Vodka habit, of course, which is also most suitable for aiding you with a baby who squirms when you wipe it’s bum.
Of course, oh evil mummy, if you don’t buy one, you’re child will undoubtably grow up with severe emotional and psychological issues, and quite possibly Post Traumatic Stress Disorder at the prolonged abuse you have inclflicted upon him or her for the first 2-3 years of it’s life. Like it will even remember how horrible you were to it.
Sheesh.
The funniest thing, however – even more riduculous than there very fact that these products are out there and being purchased (dare I say, by moronic parents who have either been sucked in BIG TIME or have EOP Syndrome) – when I searched, over 104,000 links came up! WTF?!, and there are over thirty different sorts of baby wipe warmers you can purchase, including travel wipes warmers!
One even comes with a light! Because? You’re a moron with more money than sense, who finds it hard to see in the dark? I’m guessing.
It’s products like this that make me really wish I’d run with some of my freaking ridiculous ideas that sound fabulous at 2am, but in the harsh light of day are, well, freaking ridiculous. I might be closer to living the reality of a holiday in the Bahamas.
So, if you’ve been sucked in to purchasing one of these, go see your psych about dealing with your EOP, and your GP to see if they have any meds to help. And if you’ve nothing better to spend you’re money on, feel free to send some my way. I take cash, Visa and sauvignon blanc (preferably from Marlborough, NZ).
I’m still shaking my head in disbelief that products like this are actually selling … some people will sell anything to expectant parents. And it’s wrong, I tell you. Wrong!
Note: EOP or Extreme Overprotective Parenting is not a real disorder. Yet. It’s one that I made up just today. However, if you have purchased a baby wipe warmer and it wasn’t a sarcastic gift for someone else, I think it may be more real than we believe and should perhaps be listed in the DSM.
Our local council, in it’s infinite wisdom has decided to, according to last week’s local paper, “Make Parents Pay” for the damage their children do to local properties; business and residential. Oh, and council property as well.
We’re also talking teenage children here, by the way.
Parents “should” be more responsible for their kids and teach them the right things, and know where they are and what they are up to. It’s the parents “fault” that this is happening, therefore, they “should” pay. Sounds reasonable when you look at it like that.
Then, I pick up the Melbourne paper – the Herald Sun. More steet violence, bashings, deaths etc. And lots more “no, no we’re not going to consider closing bars earlier, and, perhaps in the process, foster an enviroment that discourages stupid, violent behaviours and STOP providing means for which people can get shitfaced and beat the crap out of each other”.
And while we’re blaming the parents, and spending loads of time and money on implementing stupid laws like “ooh, don’t smack your kids when they’re being right little fuckers” we also won’t consider offering them any help and support, offer them alternative methods of disciplining kids, or helping them to see that there are alternatives.
Coz I personally think that standing over them saying “naughty naughty” and “you should be ashamed of yourselves and do something about your kids” is sooooo much more productive than providing them with skills, knowledge and tools to parent their kids stress free and in a way which fosters great relationships with their kids, and teaches them some fabulous social morals and values.
(Oh, wait, that last paragraph containes some sarcasm. Could you pick it?)
Police are bashed while trying to do their job, and calls for harsher penalties for people who go cops are dismissed.
Two children dead by their own hands, because they’ve been bullied at school, another killed in an incident at the school. The schools responses in each case? “Bullying? What bullying? We’ve got it sorted.”
Clearly.
Now, I don’t want to come across as suggesting that parents don’t have a huge part to play in the upbringing of their children. They do, and I do agree that they are majority responsible for the way their children behave.
I also don’t want to imply that it’s ok for parents to throw their hands up and say “I can’t do anything” and blame the world around them, and anyone and everyone else, for their kids behaviours.
However, to squarely point the finger at parents and take no responsibily themselves, oh mayors of cities and leaders of our states, is highly irresponsible.
How do parents come down on their kids when the kids see that nothing, literally nothing, will happen to them if the misbehave at such a despicable level? Why would kids listen to their parents when they know that they’ll get away with it? When people who have more power in handing out disciplinary measures, like sending people to gaol, shrug their shoulders and refuse to do anything?
How do parents enforce such morals and values when the very society they live in won’t back them up? When society says it’s ok to disrespect authority (in this case, the police) and nothing will happen to you?
This is our village, people, and those “higher up” than we mere parents need to be backing and supporting us, just as we aim to raise respectful and compassionate individuals to live in the society. The morals and values of the community need to be congruent with those of the family. It’s hard enough raising kids without the larger social structure contradiciting what we’re attempting to enforce, then turning around and telling us it’s our fault and our job to fix it.
I’m putting out the call for everyone to stop the finger pointing and start taking responsibility for the raising of our children.
And do us a favour, rather than telling us how crap we are at parenting, set the example for us, back us up and give us back the power to say to our kids “do that again and you will be locked up! And not by me, this time, but by that lovely policeman over there.”
They do say it takes a village to raise a child. We’ve already long ago lost the rest of our villages to help us raise and support our kids. Seems we now longer have a village at all. Just a whole bunch of individuals who don’t wanna take responsibilty for anything.
I really hate it when that happens.
I do a blog post on boobs, and the next day there is a newspaper article on a very similar topic that kinda contradicts what I’m saying.
This particular arcticle, a teensy one by Evonne Barry of the Melbourne Herald Sun pretty much states that:
The sexualisation of women’s bodies has turned a generation off public breastfeeding, according to a maternity report.
The Newspoll survey found 36 percent of poeople aged 18-24 believe breastfeeding is “unacceptable” in the workplace and in cafes, compared with 27% of all adults surveyed.
I do think it is very sad that this exists, and that so many people think like this. I do stand by my argument, however, that women’s bodies, and breasts, are sexual by their very nature.
And the angle I hadn’t considered was the angle that women would find it uncomfortable breastfeeding because boobs have been sexualised. Considering my own thoughts and feelings (and yes, they are mine and mine alone) I guess I don’t like people looking at my boobs when I’m feeding coz it does make me feel a little bit icky. I feel this because they are a sensual part of my body, and, I feel, quite private. Not sure if I’ve explained that terribly well at all!
Anyhoo, if boobs weren’t sexual or sensual in the first place, I don’t believe the issue would be as huge as it is. I don’t believe boobs would be sexualised in the manner that they are if they weren’t sexual or sensual. In which case, it would be a moot point, breasts wouldn’t be sexualised and no one would be able to blame the media for anything. Or for this, anyway.
*sigh*
If only it were all that simple. I really wish we could all just accept and live with both.
As I said in the last boobie post – breasts, like women, are multitasking and multifunctional. Why are we not applauding this diversity of the boob? I know I am.
(Any excuse for a celebratory bubbles, really 
)
Thank goodness the end of Winter is nigh!
Apart from the cold, and, if you’re in Melbourne, the Bloody FREEZING Cold, there is also the issue of Parent Guilt. How so, you may be asking (and if you’re not asking, you probably already know and are amongst the 34% of parents referred to in this study) ?
Do you feel guilty about taking time off work when you’re sick? Spare a thought for working parents who are forced to suffer feelings of guilt if they take time off to care for their sick children.
According to research commissioned by Vicks, 34 percent of working parents experience feelings of guilt when they take time off work to look after their sick children and a further 16 percent report it is actually frowned upon by their employer.
The biggest surprise and a significant sign of the times is that ten percent of parents confess they’re actually too scared to ask for time off given the current economic climate.
With 30 percent of families suffering four or more colds a year, there is little parents can do but take it on the chin. Two in three parents however, admit to sending their symptomatic kids to school, increasing the likelihood of spreading illnesses to others and potentially landing other parents in the same position they face.
Well known mother of three and family icon, Symantha Perkins, is more than experienced at juggling career and motherhood and commented on the findings, “No one likes to admit that they send their sick child to school but it seems more parents are being left with no other option.”
I don’t like to cast aspertions on anyone, but would be interested to see these feelings of guilt gender-split. Just going off the comments left on the Retell Therapy Forums, Mums generally are the ones who ring in ‘sick’ to stay home and look after their kids. Not suggesting Dads don’t, I’d just love to see if there is a particular parent bias in this trend.
Course, the whole Mother Guilt, isn’t restricted to just Mothering, either, is it? Noooo. We feel guilty if we call in to take a day off, and we feel guilty if we don’t, we feel guilty if we send them to school when they’re not all that well, or leave them in the care of someone else, or give them an extra dose of pandol during the day or … or … or… the list goes on.
We bumble through our day, regardless of the decision we’ve made, feeling guilty along the way. We make it to the end, pour ourselves a Vodka and then feel guilty for not having coped better.
On the upside, the Vodka is great for helping ward off the cold virus on the chance it’s gonna infect you as well. You know, on the off chance you stop for long enough for it to attempt to iflict itself upon you.
That’s my excuse and I’m stickin’ to it.
