You may or may not recall, but I recently conducted a survey on Breast and Bottle feeding in public places. Thanks to the fabulous 446 women who responded – very much appreciated!

The aim of the survey, really, was to get some awesome comebacks for when people commented to mums who were feeding their babies in public, either with their boobs, or with a bottle.

Sadly, aside from the suggestion of “If you are offended bymy breastfeeding, please feel free to put a blanket over your own head”, which has been around for aaaages and “Fuck Off” as suggested by a number of respondants to the survey, we didn’t get what we wanted out of the survey.

The survey pretty much consisted of 5 questions:

1. If you feed/ever fed your baby in public did you breast feed (91.3%) or bottle feed (34.8%) – the crossover of numbers reflects those that did both breast and bottle feeding in public.

2. Did you ever feel uncomfortable feeding your baby in public? Yes or No – Please explain the Yes.

3. Did you ever receive any comments, postive or negative, from the general public whilst feeding?

4. If “Yes” to the previous question, how did (or didn’t) you respond? and

5. What do you wish you had said? What would you like to have said or would say if in the same situation again? Don’t hold back! … what would you really like to have said? (this last one being the whole point of the excercise).

Whilst we weren’t then able to come up with a list of 10 Great Responses To People Who Comment on You Feeding Your Baby In Public, the research resulted in some great, and not so great, observations.

We discovered breastfeeding mums are paranoid and/or sanctimonious, and bottle feeding women are self-denigrating – BIG TIME!

Interestingly, despite nowhere in the survey asking for it, a number of responses from those who breastfed referred to the “poison” of forumla and a number of quite dispariging remarks regarding formula, bottle feeding and/or bottle feeders.

On the plus side of this, this number wasn’t huge (6% of respondees) but enough to note it’s presence.

A slightly greater number (just over 9%) of bottle feeding mums answerd “No” to the uncomfortable feeding in public because they “couldn’t breastfeed, so I didn’t breastfeed them in public”. Um, that wasn’t the criteria - we asked about feeding in public and specified breast OR bottle. When I lasted check, giving a baby a bottle of formula was still feeding them, right? Or did I miss something somewhere. The sad thing was the way they spoke about themselves in relation to their inability to breastfeed. Made us cry.

As for being uncomfortable feeding in public, a majority said the didn’t feel uncomfortable (56.5%) and 43.5% did. The most common response for feeling uncomfortable was a wriggly baby who pulled off and they didn’t want everyone to see their boobs. Second most common, and nowhere near as many, said they did feel uncomfortable when first attempting breastfeeding in public, but once they got the hang of it, they were mostly ok. And Fathers-in-law were a big culprit, with a few stating they didn’t like breastfeeding in front of theirs.

A few bottle feeders also felt awkward, ashamed or as though they were/would be judged.

As far as comments went, 41.3% said that no one had commented to them at all when feeding, and 58.7% had had someone comment. An overwhelming 61% of these comments were positive. Of the remaining 39% although respondants had ticked yes, almost half of those weren’t actually comments, just people “looking at me”. Some where quite obvious glares, and one a weird lady. The remainder were not necessarily distaste, and could have just been “glancing in my direction”.

Again, interestingly, considering the amount of media related to bresatfeeding mums being discriminated against, of the remaining “negative comments” only 2% were directed to breastfeeding mums, and of those, most were teenage boys sniggering. And one husband who vehemently objected, using the word “tart”. Hrm. The rest of the negative comments were directed at bottle feeding mums, particularly pertaining to “breast is best”, one mum being told she could not use the parents room as they were for breastfeeding mums only, and several being verbally attacked.

So, while some breastfeeding mums were seriously sanctimonious, and some bottle feeding mums were seriously self-denigrating, the number was few, which is nice.

And breastfeeding mums did appear to be just a wee bit (ok, a lot) paranoid when it came to feeding in public, most more worried about what people might think or be thinking, not what was actually happening. Would be lovely to see them not so paranoid and just do it.

Particularly when most (98%) of the negative comments were directed at bottle feeding mums! I can understand why they may be self-denigrating (but please get over it, it’s not good for anyone!)

The bit we liked most, however, was not so much the fact that almost half the respondants hadn’t had anyone comment, but that of those that did have someone comment, they were positive comments. And some very lovely ones in there, too. It warmed our hearts to know that a majority of people said nice things to mums feeding their babies, and mostly breastfeeding mums. Makes a lovely change from everything else we’re hearing about the way breastfeeding mums are treated and spoken to.

Once again, sorry we can’t yet produce a list of Awesome Comebacks, and we thank everyone for taking the time to complete our survey, share your stories and be honest about your experiences. It was greatly appreciated.