Archive for raising children
Bad Mother? Wash your mouth out! Or, better still, stuff it with food
Posted by: | CommentsThis irks me at any time of year, but at this time of year, there just seems to be so much more of it about!
It really is very, very annoying.
As some of you know, I’ve a background in health and fitness, did some study that involved excercise and nutrition, and am a bit of a stickler for good eatin’ (without being all Nazi and obnoxious and anal about it all). In short, I kinda know my stuff, without being an expert or professing to be one.
Anyhoo, a while back we had a discussion on “quick” food when we’re time poor. Like I said, this time of year tends to bring out the need for this kind of food/meal, coz we tend to be busier than usual.
Amongst the odd “two minute noodles” and “I just take them to Maccas” comments were the “Baked beans on toast. I’m such a bad mother!” In fact, “cereal” was in there, all “bad motherish” as much as baked beans on toast. And omlette or scrambled eggs.
Even Mia Freedman, in her book Mama Mia, has listed on her Crap List (this is the list of crap things you do as a mother) that she gave her kids “cereal for dinner”, specifying “weetbix, banana and milk” in there.
You lot saying this need a bloody good smack on the bum!
Baked beans are probably one of the most nutritious meals out there (albeit a little high on the salt side of things). Add some toast and you’ve got a fair whack of all your things you need in a meal. High in fibre, high in protein, low in fat, great energy food and it’s easy to make!
Since when is “weetbix with banana and milk” a “bad” thing. So bad you need to add it to your “I’m a crap mother” list. Sure, you’re feeding it to your kids for dinner instead of the lamb roast with 5 different vegies and home made gravy, or the bolognaise that took you a week to make and is full of grated vegetables “so the kids don’t know they’re in there and will eat it”, but it could be worse.
You could be giving them Macca’s. Oh, but that’s ok and doesn’t make you all bad mothery.
I’m not against Maccas (ok, I am, but not in a judgemental, you’re feeding your kids poison kind of way. Kinda. Ok, its long and complex and another post. I digress), I’m just cross when people think Maccas does’t make them a bad mum, and baked beans or cereal does. It’s not the food I’m angry about – its what you’re saying about yourself.
Eggs are also loaded with really good stuff and it’s really easy to whip up scrambled eggs. There’s also the added benefit of some stress releif with the scrambling, if that helps. Ham, cheese and tomato toasties – ooh, that’s a nomoination for worst mother in the Universe! Why not give them weeties with yogurt on it and call DHS to have your kids fostered out?
I want to make this clear – this is not a post about whether feeding your kids takeaway from Maccas is ‘good’ or ‘bad’ – it’s not even a rant about Maccas, or any other takeaway joint for that matter.
It’s about the extent that Mums will go to beat themselves (and others) up when they’re actually doing something GREAT!
I really don’t know whether people think that baked beans, eggs and Weetbix (and some other cereals) are really that bad. Given my insight into nutrition, which is more than a lot of Mums I know, then I find it hard to understand that they can be remotely considered “bad” foods, or Mums considered “bad” for feeding them to their kids.
Where have they got these ideas? Because they come out of a tin/packet/shell and it’s an easy thing to whip up? Bananas? Serioulsy – feeding your kid bananas makes you a bad mum because you give it to them at the “wrong” time of day?
What the hell is the “wrong time of day” anyway? Who says we can’t eat cereal for dinner? In fact, given the way our metabolism functions, along with lots of other physiological and biological things going on with our bodies, it’s sometimes recommended as the preferred evening meal!
So, says I, be off with you this season and give your kids baked beans and scrambled eggs and toast and weetbix and bananas and milk!
And be proud doing it!
Thank You, Children 365
Posted by: | Comments(For those who know me, skip this bit. For the uninitiated – Facetiousness Levels = Extremely High)
I know I’ve spoken about the Children 365 – Celebrate them everyday initiative by the Alannah & Madeline Foundation on a previous occasion, but I just needed to say “thanks” for the initiative.
Thanks for the reminder in the form of a lovely calendar/organiser I can stick on a wall and write down, every day, what positive things I can do with my kids, including tips.
Thanks for the reminder about all I am doing wrong as a mother, and all the areas I’m lacking (or suck at).
Thank you for spending your resources (or those of your many sponsors) on printing and distributing this reminder/organiser.
Thank you for giving more ammunition to the sanctimummies, and for reinforcing their narrowmindedness, and giving them information about stuff they already do!
I’m so pleased you directed your funds on the project, rather than, say, towards a community program that helped people who don’t have access to services to help them parent. Or, perhaps to mental health support agencies and facilities. Or maybe drug rehab programs that provided the stuff people really need; ongoing services and support? Maybe?
You know, the stuff that happens to some parents, and which is why bad stuff happens to kids.
I’m really appreciating the superficial support, and the valuable tips on being nice to kids that, whilst lovely, doesn’t actually help me cope when I’m extremely sleep deprived, have no help and support at home, and keeping depression off as best I can so that I can be the best mother I can be for my kids. Even though I’m so stressed sometimes that I forget that I put my keys in the washing machine, let alone remembering to kiss them, just because.
Thanks for chanelling it into something other than supporting Mums dying of cancer, Mums who know they’re going to die and would love to do this nice stuff for their kids, but can’t because they’re so ill and can’t get the support they need!
Thank you for not helping protect Mums who are being beaten by their partners, or parents (mums and dads) who are about to lose their houses because the other partner is gambling, or dead or disabled or unable or unwilling to support in anway.
You’re right. I think it’s most important to give these kids a boost, say and do things to bump up their self-esteem, and all the rest.
I think taking them to the zoo, when you’re so down you can’t get out of bed and would rather die, is much more beneficial than having access to resources that will prevent you killing yourself
I think playing a computer game with them is awesome, when you can’t afford to eat or clothe them.
Oh, and thank you to the many, many sponsors who have given a boost to this intiative. Thank you for ignoring my repeated requests, and my desperate pleas for help to support those who care for our children – the parents.
Thanks for choosing the organisation that will draw you more attention, because it’s about kids – we all know anything kids is going to win out over anything that will actually support the kids at a more fundamental level and have a greater impact on the desired outcome.
I may be small, but this does not mean I can’t be of use to you.
I think it’s really great that kids are supported and empowered and enabled and everything this initiative is about.
They’re important and special and need our protection and guidance, they are our future. They do need all this.
But, for mine, I believe it is important to start with the foundations. If the structure is weak, you can intiative for the kids as much as you like, it’s not going to make a lot of difference.
Mums and Dads need this kind of support, too.
(Before anyone has a go at me, just keep in mind, I have and am doing something about this. I have put my money where my mouth is. I am about supporting parents so that children have access to supportive environments capable of positive interaction 365 days of the year. What have you done?)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m a Bad Mother. Whatever.
Posted by: | CommentsOK. I get it. I admit it. In fact. I’ve never denied it.
I do understand those concerns some of you have, and thanks for your emails, too, by the way.
I hear ya. I’m a bad mother. I swear in front of my kids. Hell, I even swear at them at times. I laugh when they’re rude to me. And I blog about it. I ask them if they would like a smack. I feed them cereal for dinner. I live by the philosophy that if they can open the Tupperware they can eat it.
And, quite frankly, if they don’t, then they don’t eat most of the time.
I openly admit that Thomas the Tank Engine bores the tits off me, craft sends me into a coma and I’d rather work till midnight than join in Family Movie Night when they choose Star Wars as the movie of the moment.
I let them watch the Simpsons and don’t care what anyone thinks.
I send them to school with vegemite sandwiches and carrot sticks, and not any of the suggestions on the millions of mummy websites that call for sushi rolls and hommus dips.
I do things like this, take photos and distrubute them to my contacts lists …
I could go on, and on and on about my failings as a mother.
But if you read between the lines, particularly those lines in my personal blog, Diary of a Mad Cow, you’ll notice that …
… actualy, you know what. If I have to explain to you what you may notice should you decide to cast aside your judgements, then there’s little point.
Those of you who can see the confident, self-assured kids, the connected and FUN household and the security it offers – and you know who you are – thank you! I love that you can see beyond the written words, and don’t just take them at face value.
Those of you who still prefer to judge me, then that’s ok. You are quite within your rights to do so. I still don’t need to justify myself to you.
But for the sake of other Mums (current and to be) perhaps before any of us leap to a conclusion, and choose to judge, maybe we need to be aware of their story to help us to understand them.
Here is the story of a Bad Mother. I invite you to read it. I only hope it enlightens you and helps you to become more accepting, just as it did for me.
Ten Things Boobs Can be Used For
Posted by: | CommentsI know I’m banging on about boobs at bit, but I’m at that lifestage, so they seem to be the forefront (pardon the pun) of many parts of my life at the moment.
After an incident today, where Chippie used my right nipple to hoist himself up out of the cot, to take my mind off the pain, I came up with a list of things boobs could be used for:
1. To hoist yourself up out of a cot
2. To stop yourself going under when you slip in the bath
3. As a pillow
4. As a resting spot for pointy things, like elbows, knees and chins when you’re watching telly
5. To hold your top open, so you can collect stray bits of food to save for later
6. To hold your top open so you have easy access to nibbles between meals
7.To catch food so you don’t then later have to sweep the floor
8. To hide under when it’s raining so you don’t get wet
9. To wipe down the edge of the bath when you’re reaching in trying to catch a wriggling baby who doesn’t want to get out
10. Somewhere for babies and children to wipe their snotty noses or grubby faces so they don’t dirty a good, clean facewasher
(Of course, they are also used for breastfeeding, for men to look at and feel, and for Mummy cuddles to fix everything … this is just a list of alternative, oft forgotten uses 
)
My 8 year old for Prime Minister
Posted by: | CommentsWe all have high aspirations for our children and/or want them to be the best and do the best they can.
My 8 year old has decided he’s going to be Prime Minister. I’m not sure how I feel so far as “high aspirations” go, and whether he will succeed, given he is kind, compassionate and smart.
He’s had this idea since he was about 6. It followed his desire to be a chef, specifically Gordon Ramsay, then a food critic.
He’s certainly got the negotiating skills, and the ability to talk his way out of stuff. He can get his own way with the well placed use of words, and leave you lost for words in any sort of argument. And he has a great sense of humour. He’s well on his way already.
Despite a small, potential threat to actually becoming leader of our country, where he suggested he would bring back the death penalty, but only for “people who bring drugs into the country, people who let their dogs poo and don’t pick it up after then, and Lady Gaga because I hate her song and she can’t sing”, I think he’s still got a good chance.
Because he’s a damned site more switched on than our current PM, and, in this instance, Victoria’s premier.
Which I discovered when Godzilla (the 6 year old) asked me “why men get drunk because it is so stupid” and Monkey Boy followed it up after witnessing Fevola’s antics at the Brownlow last night.
He pretty much said what lots have been saying, about closing bars earlier, and perhaps not letting people get drunk.
He then said some really profound things. I remind you, he is 8 (and three quarters, sorry!) and he came out with all this himself …
- there’s a lot of violence on the streets when people drink too much and the bars don’t close till really early in the morning (yup, nothing new there, it’s in the papers daily)
- but people don’t get home till really early in the morning, and then they can’t do their jobs properly
- and their boss won’t be happy with them and will sack them
- and they’re rude to people and the businesses will have to close because no one will go to those shops any more
- and they’ll crash their cars because they’re drunk. Or very tired
- and they will be really grumpy and rude to their kids and their wives
- imagine if they are school teachers? They will be rude to the kids in their class, and the kids won’t learn anything or be happy at school
- or if they drove trams or trains, they would crash and people would die (he can be a bit dramatic)
He said more.
I want to know how it is an eight year old can see the impact that this drunkeness and keeping nightclubs open till 7am is having not just on the bashing victims, but on the broader community, and it seems no one else can? Especially not our premier, whatshisname?
How can a child see that the drunkeness (or even tiredness) of one person can impact on bosses, families, customers, and many others? Not only that, but he can see what sorts of impacts; poor productivity, grumpiness, inability to focus or function … etc.
I say we put an eight year old in that position now. If nothing else, they will be able to show the broader community the effects of this behaviour on the broader community .. then maybe the broader community, and the individuals themselves, will see that it’s not just about the individual they’ve gang bashed … it’s a much bigger, wider, diverse issue than that and those families.
I’m all for my eight year old being in some sort of persuasive and powerful position now. Because he’s a lot more insightful and smarter than those we have in power now.
And he swears less. Ok, some days he swears less.
Besides, I think there’s also talk of longer jail sentences, and quite possibly the death penalty, for people who bash other people in these circumstances. I’m sure the families of these victims would be behind my son as well.
(Oh, and Lady Gaga’s Paparazzi has grown on him, and there’s been much less talk of death penalties for “Crap singers” (his words), so Australian Idol is safe. For the time being, at least…)
As Mums, we really do underestimate our AWESOMENESS!
Posted by: | CommentsI can’t believe how amazingly creative and talented I am. I can and do do things that I never, ever thought imaginable. And things I never, even thought I’d be interested in doing.
Pre-kids, and when I was first a Mum, I heard all the hilarious things that Mums do – you know, chef, maid, chauffeur, psychologist, terrorist negotiator … the rest.
Then there’s the things they don’t tell you – poologist, wearer of WeetBix, creative food stylist …
I never imagined I would become a songwriter, though. How exciting.
I don’t know a Mum who doesn’t walk around singing songs they’ve made up to their babies. Songs that make baby laugh, because, well, they’re babies and don’t understand, otherwise they’d tell you to shut up. Most of my songs contain the word “doodle”, because I have boys.
But I went all Wiggles the other night, and penned (not literally) an educational song, designed to encourage my six year old to eat his vegetables. It was a very good one. Feel free to use it yourself.
It goes like this;
Vegetables, vegetables,
Vegetables are YUM!Vegetables, vegetables,
Help poo come our your BUM!
It’s good, because it has the words “poo” and “bum” in it.
What awesome things have you done?
Tips for New Parent #236
Posted by: | CommentsWhat the experts tell you
When you read in one of your many, many parenting books that mashed potato is a “good food for feeding baby” this is a lie.
Ok, from a nutritional and eaty point of view, yes it probably is.
From your hair’s point of view, no, it’s not. Ask your furniture, the walls, your good rug (and if you still have your good rug down, you are an idiot – but that’s not in the books either), the pictures on the wall, the pet goldfish and just underneath the second bottom shelf on the bookshelf, and they will all tell you that it’s not a good food either.
Your bath plug hole also disagrees, but only if you can get the stuff out of baby’s hair in the first place.
I think the “experts” tell you this because they either a) don’t have children and therefore don’t have a clue, or b) they are having a huge laugh at your expense becuase no one told them either. And so the cycle continues.
If you choose to serve your baby mashed potato, you may like to invest in garbage bin liners, or perhaps a plastic sheets company, lest ye be spending the next five years scraping it off the ceiling fan. Along with the weetbix.
This Tip was proudly brough to you by Real Mums – reality parenting, support, a safe haven for Australian Mums and NO big fat liars!
Real Mums Reviews – Baby Wipe Warmers
Posted by: | CommentsThe cynic in me (or perhaps its the realist in me) has long believed that if you mention the word “wedding” or “baby” the price of stuff goes up. Add an extra “0″ to the price.
I also believe, particularly in relation to babies, there is a whole heap of crap “they” try to sell you that you don’t really need. I like to call it “Emotional Blackmail”.
Some of these things are downright ridiculous. Seriously, are we so intent on breeding an entire generation of kids who have zero concept that there is perhaps a little bit of discomfort in the world.
If this isn’t Extreme Overprotective Parenting (EOP) then I don’t know what is. Welcome to the Baby Wipe Warmer!
(My first thought when I saw these was “Are you fucking kidding me?!” And I don’t usually swear in reviews)
Let me be upfront, as that is the point of a good review. I don’t actually own one of these, because I’m not stupid enough to buy one myself, and even my friends who purchase me the most ironic of gifts would know they’d have it thrown back at their heads within moments of me unwrapping it.
Aside from neglecting your child from experiencing a bit of reality for a mere 3 seconds at a time (and if it didn’t poo so often, it wouldn’t experience this abuse on such a regular basis) and depriving yourself of the enjoyment of payback with a cold, moist cloth, you also get to pay for the privelege of owning one. At the expense of your Vodka habit, of course, which is also most suitable for aiding you with a baby who squirms when you wipe it’s bum.
Of course, oh evil mummy, if you don’t buy one, you’re child will undoubtably grow up with severe emotional and psychological issues, and quite possibly Post Traumatic Stress Disorder at the prolonged abuse you have inclflicted upon him or her for the first 2-3 years of it’s life. Like it will even remember how horrible you were to it.
Sheesh.
The funniest thing, however – even more riduculous than there very fact that these products are out there and being purchased (dare I say, by moronic parents who have either been sucked in BIG TIME or have EOP Syndrome) – when I searched, over 104,000 links came up! WTF?!, and there are over thirty different sorts of baby wipe warmers you can purchase, including travel wipes warmers!
One even comes with a light! Because? You’re a moron with more money than sense, who finds it hard to see in the dark? I’m guessing.
It’s products like this that make me really wish I’d run with some of my freaking ridiculous ideas that sound fabulous at 2am, but in the harsh light of day are, well, freaking ridiculous. I might be closer to living the reality of a holiday in the Bahamas.
So, if you’ve been sucked in to purchasing one of these, go see your psych about dealing with your EOP, and your GP to see if they have any meds to help. And if you’ve nothing better to spend you’re money on, feel free to send some my way. I take cash, Visa and sauvignon blanc (preferably from Marlborough, NZ).
I’m still shaking my head in disbelief that products like this are actually selling … some people will sell anything to expectant parents. And it’s wrong, I tell you. Wrong!
Note: EOP or Extreme Overprotective Parenting is not a real disorder. Yet. It’s one that I made up just today. However, if you have purchased a baby wipe warmer and it wasn’t a sarcastic gift for someone else, I think it may be more real than we believe and should perhaps be listed in the DSM.
