Archive for real mums
Slap Your Relationship Into Shape … (sshhh it’s a prelaunch!)
Posted by: | CommentsOooh, I’m just in a giving mood today!
And have also discovered that sometimes Impatience can be a virtue. If nothing else, at least it’s a WIN - for YOU!
I’ve been working with the awesome Chris Owen, relationships counsellor extraordinaire, of Pink Apple on ways to help you with your relationship. It came about because we get lots of discussions re relationship issues on the Retell Therapy Forums, and previous surveys have indicated a need for such help.
With my recent chaos and craziness and trips oveseas and to remote country towns, I’ve also had lots of people accusing me of being a “Super Mum” and asking me how I did it … that had to do with my relationship, too.
So, we got together over a bazillion cups of tea, much laughter and some chocolate muffins and we have created the Real Mums Guide To Better Relationships!
How it works is Chris provides the “expert” stuff and I provide the “realism”; I’m just a wee bit over the “experts” telling us to “just schedule in a date night once a month” – does anyone have any idea how hard that can be to organise? Oh, of course you do – haha – sorry! Not sure why I asked you that. Anyway, I do lots of lying-on-floor-in-foetal-position-crying because I can’t work out how to implement this amazing information into my life, then we both work on how you can do it, taking into account the fact that your life includes more than “just” your relationship with your life partner/husband/whatever term you like to use.
We know that there’s other stuff there, and it can sometimes cause stress, or get in the way, or make you forget things, or fill your diary up so “just scheduling in a date night” gets harder and harder to schedule in.
It’s about here the impatience – for me – comes in. I’ve never worked well with being patient, but it’s your gain, so here we go. We’re not quite ready to lauch the Real Mums Guide to Better Relationships. We’re about a week away. There’s some technical stuff and things to finalise.
So, if you promise not to tell anyone, I can tell you that I’m doing a pre-launch offer, where if you sign up to the course NOW (Monday 21st June) you’ll get it at $10 less than you would if you waited.
(Oh, I just worked that out … it works out to be $1.55 a week, which works out to 22 cents a day on your relationship – mine is worth WAY more than that. What’s the value of your relationship to you?)
You can visit the Useful Stuff page over at Bad Mother’s Club – where real mums hang out - for a bit more info and to sign up.
Or you can just sign up right now, right here, using PayPal.
The course will kick off once it’s officially launched, and the rate will go up then, too 
You’re just getting in early at a stupidly ridiculous rate …
Oh, and while we’re speaking of relationships, you gotta check out this awesome post on Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships over at Bra Queen Exposed!
Caring for Sick Children
Posted by: | CommentsThe end of last week was a bit revolting for this household.
Filthy diseased vermin had infiltrated my home. Also known as the youngest of my two children. The youngest one started it!
We’ll blame him, not because he’s the youngest – although that is a good excuse – but because he was showing symptoms last week. Not symptoms that are so obvious that you go “Oh, that’s chicken pox” or “yep, that definiltely looks like a broken arm, see the angle it’s at?”
No, just general, vague symptoms that you could attribute to … well, anything really. Was he sticking his finger up his nose and saying “noz” because it was hurting? Or he’d stuck something up it when I wasn’t looking? Because it was intermittently leaking copious amounts of snot? Did he have a sinus infection/ear infection/a pea located from under the couch wedged up it? Or had he learnt a new word and was really impressed with himself?
Loads of saliva, which everyone, including the Super Experienced With Children family day care lady put down to “teething”, despite the fact he has all his teeth. Well had all his teeth, but that’s another story that I’ve already told. A recent trip to the dentist indicated that the two year old molars weren’t even close to coming through, and Grumpy’s insistence that a “great big tooth is coming through” were dubious at best. That Great Big Tooth coming through was technically well and truly through and unlikely to be causing much of an issue.
The week dragged on. Godzilla then started complaining of a sore tongue at much the same moment as Monkey Boy did. Within moments of eating some sherbety lolly thing that pops on your tongue, courtesy of a recent birthday party. Godzilla had also felt it wise to go and pick some of the mushrooms he found in the back yard, which not only make me gag (am not a lover of mushrooms) but caused me to wonder whether he’d somehow mildly poisoned himself.
Godzilla’s tongue got not better, Chippie appeared to have something going on in his mouth, and it came to a head when my tongue went manky as well, hurty, and worse! coffee tasted terrible.
A trip to the doctor indicated a virus, inconclusively “hand, foot and mouth”, as it was all he could think of, despite there not being any other signs of the disease other than sore tongues all round. Inlcuding some ulcers.
No fever, no sickness, no runny nose, no blisters on hands or feet … nada.
Then he told us to rest. Yes, “rest”.
Personally, and I’m not sure about you, I find asking my hyperactive six year old boy to sit still a breeze! As for a toddler, the word “rest” just comes with the territory, doesn’t it? “Crazy” is just not in his vocabulary. Nor his behaviour.
To be fair, the Doctor did acknowledge that “rest” in this situation could be difficult, and “resting” a toddler is hard at the best of times. He gave me some suggestions as to how best to do this. None involved valium or vodka. For me or the toddler.
Which brings me to Caring For Sick Children.
The words “rest”, “application of pain relief” (ie panadol, neurofen or whatever) and “fluid intake” are oft bandied around on “parent support” websites and books on sick children and those loaded with parenting “advice”. Refer to earlier comment regarding “rest” and “fluid intake” (aka vodka, in particular the apalling overlooking of it as a means of Caring For Sick Children).
As for pain relief, well, that’s a given. Child cries for no apparenlty reason, unable to determine reason for crying, apply pain relief orally by holding child upside-down, with one arm wrapped around toddler’s body, restraining arms, another arm restraining legs, yet another hand placed firmly on child’s forehead to prevent movement, another preventing kicking of feet, as you reach with your remaining arm to syphon the dregs of panadol out of the bottom of the bottle, swear about deficit of liquid pain relief and fact you require just one more arm to hold the vessel at just the right angle to ensure maximun uptake by the stupid syringe.
Pain releif administered, and spat out down your clevage and over the front of his last remaining relatively clean shirt.
What I have yet to find in these sources of “advice” for Caring For Sick Children is how to go about pouring the correct dosage of pain relieving/cough syrup mixture in those teesny cups, when you have a headache, a screaming child clinging to your arm/leg/hair and a whinghing school aged kid who you’d prefer to be at school, because he’s not behaving sick and is really more annoying than anything else because he’s “bored” and his “neck hurts”, you have to determine whether by “sore neck” he means “sore throat” or he has inadverently acquired meningitis on the trip home from the GP, and the cup has the measurements marked in the tiniest of font in the same colour as that of the cup itself!
Who’s brilliant idea was that?!
Mostly, I’m trying to find the chapter on how to Care For Sick Children when you, too, have contracted their filthy disease and everything you consume tastes disgustingly revolting.
How is one sufficiently and effectively to Care For Sick Children, when one cannot even rely on the enjoyment of a MUG of coffee or glass of wine to help them cope?
What does Coca Cola want with a Real Mum?
Posted by: | CommentsSomewhat of a crazy week last week, with all kinds of, well, craziness that one could imagine. From one end of the spectrum to another. Ups and Downs and everything in between.
Finished off on Friday with a lovely email that I was convinced was from Nigeria, but, in fact, had a Sydney phone number.
Still, quite frankly, thought it was particularly horrible of someone to send me an email telling me I’d been invited by corporate giant, Coca Cola, to go to Shanghai for a couple of days (without the kids and hubby) and do things like visit the World Fair over there, and learn about Coke’s new Live Positively platform they are about to lauch.
Nasty, nasty and not at all funny. Particularly as I’m itching to go for a wee on my own. Four days in a totally different country is just … oh, I can’t even imagine what that would feel like.
I came back to it a number of times over the weekend, mentioned to hubby “Haha, some one sent me an email inviting me to Shanghai, all expenses paid.”
To which he, and all the kids who could speak, and, I believe, also the one who couldn’t, all said in unison “GO! When are you going?!”
Nice.
I got the courage to ring on Monday morning and was not only surprised that a real person answered the phone but was actually pleased to hear from me and indicated they were a bit disappointed that I hadn’t called already.
Then proceeded to tell me that I had not only been selected after they’d done some googling and researching and created a list of mums who like to blog and spend far too much time faffing about on social media (my words, not his), then shortlisted that list … then passed it on to Coca Cola (their client) who selected the top 5 … and Diary of a Mad Cow was on that list. I was on it!
I then told him I couldn’t go, because, you know, mum stuff and lots on that week, and other engagements and really sorry.
It wasn’t until I hung up that I realised the impact of what I was being asked! Argh! I had a short discussion with a very good friend, picked the phone up immediately and called them back.
I’m going to Shanghai!
Paid for, without kids and with 4 other mums on the blogsphere … these mums being Annabel from Get In The Hot Spot, Stacey from Sunny Mummy and Brenda from Mummy-Time - and, yes, I can count, that is only three. The fourth one is yet to be announced to us.
We get to check out the World Fair (which the family are now referring to as the Wod Fir … Simpsons reference – sorry!), learn more about the Live Positively platform and Coke’s product innovation and all kinds of fun packed, flat out craziness!
The Live Positively platform for sustainability runs with the slogan Together we can make a positive difference. Quite frankly, I’m honoured and more than a little bit chuffed (ok, so excited I nearly wet my pants, but I blame that on 3 kids and a dodgy pelvic floor, ok?) about being part of the whole process, and part of that “together” bit.
Also quite surprised as didn’t think that many people read Diary of a Mad Cow, so for it to have reached the likes of Coca Cola, well, yes, surprised and impressed.
I’ll be learning more about exactly what the whole thing is about and what we’ll be getting up to in a few weeks time.
For now, I just have to find suitable cupboards to put the kids in for when I’m not around.
I have to stress, too, I didn’t enter any competition to win this, they invited me (feeling SO spesh right now!) and they’re not paying me for this post.
Nope, they’re just paying for me to fly to Shanghai in quite possibly the busiest week of my life, and paying for me to stay there for a couple of nights.
Quite frankly, its about bloody time I got some pay back from them, too. There was a period in my teens where I’m fairly confident I was keeping their global company afloat for quite a few years!
(Am very excited!!!)
The 7th Day of Christmas – MUG
Posted by: | CommentsThis would have to be the most perfect Christmas Gift for any Mum.
A Real Mums Escape MUG – perfect for your morning coffee (at 380ml a pop, there’s less time making it and more time drinkin’ it!)
Available from Real Mums Retail Therapy – or you can grab the MUG and a Spare and save your self some $. And angst when one MUG is in the dishwasher.
The 1st Day of Christmas – one for the Mums
Posted by: | CommentsI have no real idea what the 12 Days of Christmas tradtion is, or where it originate. I’ve just known about the song all my life.
And heard talk of it. Although I do believe it kicks off on the 25th and runs till January 6th the following year, by which time you must have pulled down the Chrissy tree for fear of attracting bad luck.
Anyway, I’ve chosen to use these first 12 days of December to tell you about some really cool stuff we’ve come across (and possibly reviewed) during the year, remind you of some of the awesome people who have sponsored some of our events and share some ideas on some great Christmas presents … for you, the kids, the hubby, aunts, uncles, friends and various others …
Just a suggestion: feel free to forward the link of the stuff you like to someone else and say “BUY THIS FOR ME!”
The First Day – we’re offering something for Mums … we’re doing a pre-Christmas pre-sale of Mums’ Night Out! tickets for May 14th next year.
The pre-sale tickets are a once off, and this price will not be repeated.
(With the possible exception of those who become Bad Mother’s Club Members – details to come)
The pre-sale will conclude at midnight on the 25th of December – this is for those of you who get crap presents and would like to supplement then with something really, really awesome!
Tickets will be $69 per person. The pre-sale price, ending December 25th at midnight are $59 per person.
Buy Yours Now (or send the link to someone who has no idea, telling them where to get your awesome present) … http://mumsnightout.eventbee.com
Well, what do you know? There ARE Good Mums!
Posted by: | CommentsLast Friday night – the 6th November – was the launch of Bad Mother’s Club, an initiative I’ve undertaken to support, empower and provide a safe haven for Aussie mums, where they can also have fun, and reduce their stress and Mother Guilt levels.
It was mildy (ok, really) stressful leading up to the event, and loads of work went into it. I also swore a lot more than usual. Which is pretty impressive, coz I swear a lot. Allegedly, and according to everyone who is not me
My main concern with the event was that it was FUN! I knew the food would be great, the wine great and the service awesome. I knew the goody bags were amazing, and the prizes even more so.
But, and you’ve all heard the stories, get a group of mums together and things can go pear shaped. And I’m not talking post-baby bodies and the white and dark chocolate mousse we had for dessert!
There was my core group, who have been members for a while and have established strong friendships. I had my People Who Know Their Stuff, a close friend of mine, and a few others who had come on their own. No friends or people they knew. No “support” per se. The support of just having someone you know at an event where you know no one.
The main highlight of the night – for me – was that everyone had a great night, felt included, laughed like they hadn’t in ages, and felt supported, not judged.
What do you know? There are Good Mums out there, and they were all with me last Friday night.
I’d even go so far as to calling them Great Mums, for their ability to be honest, open, welcoming and making the rest of us laugh so hard!
I’m priveleged and honoured to have been in their presence … and can’t wait for the next one.
(The next one is December 5th at 2pm – stay tuned for details. I cannot wait!)
Children365? Not on my watch
Posted by: | CommentsNow, I know I’m going to have to tread very carefully here, because people will read into this what they want. Mostly, they won’t read it through/properly/at all – given what I’m going to start with.
I ask that you do read it through, before condemning me. Because I am thinking of the children.
I refer to the “special push to cherish youngesters all year round” and the new initiative of the Alannah & Madeline Foundation, Children365, an initiative to “signify the commitment to cherish and protect children every day of the year”.
Don’t get me wrong, I think this is a really awesome and valuable idea.
I also think it’s one of many other very similar ideas. A slight twist on an already established theme.
And, just like all those (also awesome themes) I believe it is lacking soemthing fundamental.
The wesbite pages state the initiative is to:
Children365 is one of the many ways The Alannah and Madeline Foundation advocates for the wellbeing of children. This initiative encourages adults to take the time to think about why the children in their lives are important and how they can spend time together. Through an annual calendar and a range of activities, Children365 gives people practical ways they can engage positively with children.
Fantastic, except that, like all the others, it appears to neglect the parents.
Not in an “involving” parents (and other adults for that matter) way, but overlooks the fact that parents have shit going on in their lives too. I’m not even referring to lack of resources, like time and money, due to working long hours and being away from home and perhaps not having enough time to spend with the kids. The ones that seem to come up.
I’m talking about things like stress, lack of sleep, lack of a range of skills and knowledge in relation to dealing with kids, relationship issues, financial stress, the plethora of information thrown at parents that just confuses them and leads them to feel like they are bad parents, the conflicting research that we read about in the daily papers, the adverts telling us that chocolate for breakfast is ok (I’m looking at you Milo Breakfast Cereal and coco pops) and the papers telling us it’s really bad … I could go on.
There’s also the issue of the lack of support; physical, emotional and mental, that parents have these days, that helps them to cope with daily stresses, and to support them in “engaging postively with their children”.
What this initiative does is tell us, yet again, what we are lacking in parenting skills/abilities/actions and deprives us, yet again, of any useful skills or support.
I don’t belive this initiative is aimed at those people who do, or are at risk of, harming children in any way. It is not designed to support those who are financially destitute, have no parenting skills at all, are drug addicts and/or have a mental illness of some sort. I can assure you that as someone who has experienced depression – specifically PND – this initiative would have done very little in support me in engaging in any way with my kid. I would have gone a long way to reinforcing how inadequate I was as a parent.
(But that was my experience with PND and mothering).
I don’t believe it will make much positive difference to those at risk, or support them in making a difference. I believe it has the potential to be seen as “more people telling us what to do” and not backing it up with support.
I believe it also has the potential to make some mums feel worse than they already do. I don’t believe this is
I believe it is aimed at, and suited to, those who are already doing these sorts of things for their kids, anway. It just gives them a few more things they can add to their day of already engaging positively with their children. Some different things they can do that they possibly aren’t already. This is not necessarily a bad thing, if these parents can encourage and empower others to do the same, and stop lecturing or judging others for not.
I believe that, for the sake of the children, you need to start at the top and work down. I believe you need to work on and with the parents, to support and encourage them and give them the tools and skills they need – not just ideas and information – so that they fully understand how to behave in a way that is beneficial to children.
I believe it is important to stop pointing fingers, sitting back and blaming parents, and telling them what they “should” be doing, rather than helping them to do it.
I am very much for the parents and would like to, before we see a Children365 see these initiatives place more interest in the parents.
Then, I believe, a Children365 will have way more impact and be way more successful.
I guess its thankful we have places, then, like realmums.com.au and the soon to be launched Bad Mother’s Club - at least its a start in the right direction … more to come people, watch this space …
