Archive for support for parents
Real Mums Review: Mums’ Night Out! 2010
Posted by: | CommentsYeah, yeah, probably incredibly impartial because, well, Mums’ Night Out! is my ‘baby’, conceived by me, stressed over by me and, yes, it to has sent me into the foetal position, sobbing my little heart out in the middle of the night, much like all my other babies have.
Or, you could view it that I know the damned event inside out, so can give you a more descript view of it. Or both 
Anyhoo, it’s now, what, the 7th one of these I’ve done (I took a year off one year), the first being in 2003. I have to say, despite the fact the chick I communicated with at the venue being a rude bitch and not having the ability to crack a smile, this would have to have been the Best. One. Yet.
I do put some of this down to the people I had helping me … dragged in kicking and screaming, and probably feeling manipulated into it by my odd tantrum. But truly, Kirsty and Jacinta were (and still are) a godsend – especially given I was out of action for a week leading up to the event.
Mostly, I put it down to the awesome sponsors we had supporting the night, our fabulous DJ for the night, Arnie from Arnold’s Disco, and the gorouges Deb from Day 2 Day PA, who acted as the MC for the event … and bloody good acting she did, too. She really is just fabulous.
The Real Mum of the Year was announced, the illustrious title going to Jodi Gibson of Melbourne, who was tiara’d, robed and sashed, courtesy of Clever Streak, Pink Apple and Bella Sashes, and won some prizes from Chef’s Toolbox. Of course, she was also presented with a trophy, courtesy of Engraving Plus and a chocolte bouquet from Better than Flowers.
Prizes were aplenty; bling from Glitzee, adornments and accessories from Baubles, Bubbles & Bags and Accessory IDheas, gifts from Real Mums, What Can I Eat, Mother’s Toolkit, Sunny Mummy, La Toriana, and … soooo many more …
They had to work for them though; Jacinta managing to get her washing (well, socks specifically) sorted, paired and folded, the person matching the most pairs chose their prize. We also knew how to fill a dance floor – literally everyone up – for a game of musical statues to win the much coveted two night stay at Front Beach Torquay!
Guests were treated to a fashion parade by some very real mums, courtesy of Argyro Gavalas, who also dressed me for the evening (well, I dressed myself, I am capable of doing that – even after all the wine’s I’d had pre-event – they just provided the outfit). Oh, how everyone laughed and laughed and wolf-whilstled and drank some more.
We had some deliciously scrumptious cupcakes from Cupcakes of Kensington to indulge in, and had soooo much fun with the incredibly awesome Chocolate Shots courtesy of Chocolatier, who are doubly awesome because they came to our rescue with only two days notice after a previous sponsor had a crisis and has to pull out. So, we do love Chocolatier quite a lot right at this point in time.
There were also the gorgeous girls from Adorn Mineral Cosmetics who made us all look more gorgeous, and were run off their feet the entire night, providing mini-makoevers and touch ups (of the makeup on our face! It wasn’t that sort of night, thank you very much!), and the very fabulous Emma from Hand Print Massage who treated all of us (except me, I never got one *pout*) to a bit of a back rub, while the talented Sarah Louise wandered around pointing a camera in our faces and catching the action.
Everyone went home happy, tired and more than a wee bit pissed, with a goody bag from The Spotty Napkin, who also provided the lolly bags – yes, lolly bags! – filled with vouchers and samples from everyone above, and more; Your Kids Ed contributed, as did Suz’s Space, Ahava Dead Sea, Curves, 52 Hair Co, some much needed Wine Wipes and even more bling courtsey of Dot Info Enterprises (who, I also need to add, are our BIGGEST supporter, we wouldn’t have the night if not for them, and they also have the most amazing and the classiest woman in the world working for them!)
All in all, it was a fabulous night, with some great goodies to take home. The best bit, for me, was how everyone just relaxed and had FUN! A LOT of fun. No doubt the mental health break many needed.
It’s not just me, either, quite a few have commented that this was the “best Mums’ Night Out! yet” … so that’s nice!
Can’t wait for the next one. I just love catching up with a bunch of amazing, fun and supportive women, dancing, and doing a heap of laughing! Love it!
Here are some (very few, actually!) hightlights of the night
An open lettter to parenting experts
Posted by: | CommentsDear Parenting Expert,
I received your email today/this week/this month, and I’m just wondering how come it is that the research done on the “thing” that is not what you stand for is always wrong and biased and has lots of holes in the research process, but any research on the “thing” that you are for is flawless?
I agree with you regarding that research. I can see the flaws and the holes. I can see the biases. Sometimes, if I squint and turn my head to one side and stand one on leg, I can also see the bits you so vehemently point out as “wrong”, just to prove how your “thing” is “right”.
The thing is, I can also see these things in the research you are saying is ok. I can see the flaws and holes and biases.
It confuses me a lot when you, the expert, says this is not my way and it is “wrong” and this is my way and it is “right” and if you don’t do it my way, you are wrong and a very bad mummy. Not to mention the untold psychological/emotional/physical damage is doing to my child.
The other expert is telling me the opposite.
What makes your “thing” better than their’s when all the research is flawed – yes, even the stuff that supports your theories and ways of doing things. You forgot to mention those biases in your latest communication with me, did you know that? You only commented on one lot of research, not both.
Also, what is it about you that makes your “expertise” better than the other experts?
Just curious.
If you could clear that up for me, that would be great.
Thanks.
Dazed and Confused
xo
Back from the brink
Posted by: | CommentsI’ve always been about being open and honest in relation to parenting; the highs and lows, the horror that it can sometimes be, the hysterical laughter and all the other stuff that goes with it. This is a particularly hard post for me to write, because I know I’m making myself vulnerable, and I have to acknowledge what happened.
Which is something I believe is not happening often enough, and the realities of parenting are squished down so much so as to provide this false facade of what it’s really about. I can’t sit comfortably, believing in what I believe in, without sharing and without being honest.
I want to add, this is my story, and I’m sharing it because I strongly believe we need to be more honest, and more open about our experiences and stop the crap that we’re led to believe parenting is. I’m not after sympathy, and, no doubt, I’ll also receive some criticism, judgement and non-experienced (in this scenario) dogooders having a go at me.
I’m not after sympathy.
I do believe we all need to acknowledge those times we have pulled ourselves back from the brink.
This particular week has been a hard one. I’ve had a lot on, had to make some hard decisions, have had lots of exciting things happening and promises to fullfil. It’s been extremely hot, the kids all had high temps and nasty coughs, my time has been restricted and I got very, very tired and sick myself.
I commenced a slow spiral downwards, in which the only thing keeping me going was positive self-talk, a skill I have invested a lot in, and is a little more complex than just “postive self-talk”. It has been a hard battle, particularly as I got more and more tired, and more and more brain befuddled due to a chest infection. My ability to make decisions declined, to the point where I could see the kids behaving in ways we all know aren’t appropriate, yet I couldn’t for the life of me think what to do to stop it, nor function effectively enough to do anything about it. Simply put, I couldn’t remember how to deal with it.
That, and I didn’t have the energy to do so, to carry out what was necessary, my brain synapses weren’t function enough to connect the “do this” with the actual doing of it.
I was at the end of my tether, desperate for a break, the ‘wise words’ of every expert telling me what to do, with no real idea of my situation, or ability to do anything at that time. I literally couldn’t put everything I knew into practice.
At my wits end, the baby decided a tanty was in order. Not one to be cuddled, attempting to “settle” him requires several strong male nurses and a sedative. Holding him and rubbing his back is not an option. He kicks, he screams, he pushes away, he pinches face bits, he hits to get you away from him. He literally does not like being held. It’s not anything – it’s just him. Not personal, not a behavioural issue. Just him. And pick up any book on how to calm a crying baby, and none will talk to you about babies like this. Or, rather, they give the impression that when a baby is upset, it’s really nothing but a bit of calm cuddling, rubbing and soothing that will fix it.
None doing. And it’s really hard not to take it personally, and to not feel like you’re the shittest mother in the world when you can’t calm your own crying baby – worse when he pushes you away as he’s screaming. Particularly when you’re at close to your lowest point.
Put him on the floor and he throws himself, usuall banging a head or various other body part.
And this particular day, at this particular moment, he did it all. In my state, I admit, I derived a small amount of (guilty) pleasure at his banging his head on the floor mid tanty. Almost a “ha! now you know how I feel!” kind of pleasure.
And then I moved to the brink, tempted to help him bang his head on the floor as I attempted to lift him for a cuddle and he threw himself back. Tempted I was to hurt him as he had hurt me, both physically and emotionally.
Tempted I was to remove myself from him and hurt myself physically as I much as I was hurting emotionally.
These are not thoughts I have, as a rule. Generally, I’m a caring person, and quite capable of removing myself, logically and reasonably, from a situation that is causing me stress. Under normal circumstances, I would feel the stress, gently place the baby in his cot, and walk away until my anger had passed. Actually, under normal circumstances, I usually wouldn’t let situations like this anger me.
So, there I was … on the brink.
For those of you who have been there, you’ll appreciate what a scary place it can be. I have actually been on a worse brink than this one – but this one was pretty scary.
You’ll also appreciate the amazing effort and strength it can take to come back from it.
Sitting on the bedroom floor, with a wet, screaming, kicking, fighting baby, partially wrapped in a towel, no help and no support with me at that moment, and on The Brink, from somewhere I summoned up the strength to just … STOP.
I managed to hold tightly, but not so tight as to hurt, to utter soothing tones and to gently pat a tiny naked bottom whilst clasping flailing legs under my elbow. I managed to do this for I don’t know how long, when he eventually fell asleep.
And in writing this, it sounds so simple, so easy to do. Just ‘snap out of it’. It requires an immense amount of strength of character.
I wanted to share this, because there are women out there experiencing the same who are condemning themselves for it, feeling like they are bad mother’s for it, and feeling … just awful.
I wanted to share to let them know they’re not alone, they are not bad mothers and that they, too, have an awesome strength about themselves that they’re probably not even aware of.
Mostly, I wanted to share for all those out there that have been there, and not know the strength they have, who have felt so bad about themselves and their actions and their thoughts that they have not been able to step back from the brink.
You are all amazing. You are all strong. And mostly, you are not alone and you are most definitely not bad.
“The child should ALWAYS come first”
Posted by: | CommentsIt’s something we, as mothers, hear all the time and something a lot of people, particularly childless-but-wanna-be-parents-one-day people, bang on about.
“Children should ALWAYS come first”
Apart from the use of the abhorrent word “should”, I do have issues with this statement (command? Sanctimious high-horsing?)
I’m not actually opposed to the welfare of the child, and children receiving the best that their parents can offer and getting great starts to life and all the rest.
What I am opposed to is the use of this ‘phrase’ (inrelenting belief of the ignorant?) by simple people who see the world in black and white, who jump to conclusions about what parents do and automatically condemn. Particularly if (when) the behaviour of the said parents can be (mis)construed as going against their own beliefs.
It is a phrase that can cause a lot of confusion and unfouded accusations and judgement, lead to distress and angst, and sometimes depression, in mothers (and fathers). It creates conflict. The main problem with it is that it can be interpreted in so many ways, yet it always comes back to being about whatever the mother does to and for the child. Or doesn’t do.
I’ve been the recipient of many an accusatory email, Facebook thread and forum thread in my time, because I strongly believe that, at times, Mum needs to come first.
Not at the expense of the child and his or her emotional, psychological, spiritual and/or physical well-being, but rather for the benefit of it. It’s all very well to sit back and judge mums who leave their kids at home unsupervised, or feed them baked beans on toast for dinner (which is a hell of a lot better than fast food that many “good” mothers feed their kids, then justify it!), or leave the kids in the “evils” of childcare, or … blah blah blah.
To be fair, I’m not an advocate of leaving kids at home, unsupervised. However, put this in the context of a severely depressed woman who is this close to homicide and/or suicide and I tend to lean on the “get mum a break and put HER first” side of the fence. I’ll also do this for someone who is not severely depressed, or even depressed at all, but having a serioulsy bad moment and likely to hurt someone.
This “the child should always come first” is actually coming first, because Mum put herself first by getting out of the house and going for a walk. She does that or smacks the kid, and we all know where that leads to … yup, more condemnation, accusations and judgement. And looky that – no support! She’d damned if she does and damned if she doesn’t.
Mums heading off to work or study, leaving their kids in care and doing all those horrible sorts of things, we’ve read, time and again, how it’s selfish and they “should” be with their kids. As someone who went off to study with a 3 month old baby – I can tell you that I copped all the flak, but rose above it because I knew that it was the best for him, as well as me. The need to study, or go to work is not always financial; it may be social, emotional, psychological … it’s a drive some women have that can be, quite literally, a life saver, and have profound impacts on their well-being. ALL of their wellbeing.
I can honestly say that mums putting themselves and their needs first is more often than not, the best for the child. It is putting the child first and foremost in their mind, and doing what they can to ensure the safety and wellbeing of thier kids, by not putting the child first at every moment of the day.
Many of us have heard the analogy (which I’m loathe to quote here because I’m so sick of hearing it, but some haven’t so here it is) of putting your oxygen mask on before you help others put their’s on. If you’re unconscious because you put “the child first”, there’s bugger all you can do to help them, or anyone else.
If feeding yourself before feeding the child means you have the means to earn (beg? borrow? whatever you need to do?) some cash so you can purchase more food, then you’re better off doing that than feeding the baby and collapsing on the floor, incapable of doing anything.
If your baby is not sleeping and won’t stop crying, you’re better off walking out of the room and leaving it to cry, than smacking it, throwing it, or landing yourself in a mental institution. You’re no good to anyone there, and you won’t be able to settle your baby to sleep when you’re in a psych ward.
If you need to leave your toddler in care, or your school child needs afters school care several times a week, so you can go off to work, or study, or run your business, then they’re better off there than at home with a woman who screams and yells, who cries and drinks excessively and who flinches at the sight of her children coming near her.
So no, it’s imperative that that the child not ALWAYS come first.
And it’s that child not always coming first that goes a long way to ensuring that their wellbeing is, in fact, top priority.
A quick update and some stuff coming up
Posted by: | CommentsYipee!
We have lots of very exciting things planned for next year … some of which we’re working on now, like Mums’ Night Out! for example, and the Real Mum of the Year Award, which we do each and every year … and some other stuff that will really take off in 2010.
There’s also things like the publication of Mad Cow’s first book, Mad Cow’s Guide To Bad Mothering (interim title) (you can pre-order your copy NOW) and the commencment of the Bad Mother’s Club Guilt Free Parenting Program, and lots more events and In Real Life get togethers for Mums.
Anyhoo, the gist of all that is that we need to do some stuff with the current blog template (among other things – new realmums.com.au and Bad Mother’s Club websites coming up as well), so the blog will have a new look over the next week. Assuming the Universe and the Whims Of Technology align at the same time as I’m / we’re actually doing the stuff that causes these changes, so that we can keep you better informed and updated about all the really cool stuff going on and coming up
Stay tuned.
(And remember to grab your Mums’ Night Out! tickets at the pre-sale price, which expires midnight December 25th and pre-order your copy of Mad Cow’s Guide to Bad Mothering)
Childcare – who gets first dibs?
Posted by: | CommentsInteresting segment on Today Tonight last night regarding Stay At Home Mums and use of childcare.
Unfortunately, I was one of those who appeared on the segment, and was interviewed, along with a SAHM and parenting educator, Michael Grose. Basically, it was a presentation about whether SAHMs needed to use childcare or not.
Before I kick into the discussion, I have to say I was overly unimpressed with being portrayed as the person who things SAHM’s don’t need childcare. They got Michael saying all the good stuff about how all mums need a break. I said that, too, only way better. But they needed a two sided argument and obviously couldn’t get anyone else to say it (I had numbers I could have given them!), so I was the idiot.
Anyhoo, interesting debates have sprouted around the place about who gets first dibs on childcare – especially when there are a lack of places in a particular area. Of course, calling these segments and articles and similar “Mums At War” and “Mummy Wars” and the rest of it only set the scene – and influences people’s thoughts – for what is to follow in the article/segment.
So who is entitled to first dibs on Childcare?
Is it the working Mum, who has a place to be, others relying on her, being paid to do a job, with specific places to be a specific times? Surely she has the right to bump up the waiting list ahead of everyone else, because she has someone relying on her?
Oh, hang on. But what about the business owner with kids? Doesn’t she have others relying on her, too? Clients and customers to do things for? It’s her source of income, and, of course, aids the family in whatever way, so having no care means she can’t earn that income, right? So if she has no care, how can she run her business effectively?
But that’s not fair, because at least the working mums and, to an extent, the self-employed mums get a break from the kids and do something that isn’t kid related, and the SAHM gets to spend all their time (depending on who you speak to, of course) with the kids, so shouldn’t they be the ones who get first go at whatever care is available, to give them a break from the kids?
Of course, then you get all the “choice” arguments. People “choose” to work, so it’s their problem, or people “choose” to stay home and look after the kids, so they just have to deal with it.
The problem, from the larger, social perspective, is that whatever sort of mum you are, you’re stereotyped … and with that comes the argument against you. The SAHM lives for her kids, has no life and does everything for them and wants nothing more than to spend all her time with them. The WAHM is not really a business woman, just chose to start up a buniess so she could justify her existance and “be there for the kids”. And the working Mum? Well, she’s just selfish and why did she have kids in the first place. Applied, of course, regardless of their circumstances, how many hours they do or don’t work and everything else.
If only it were that black and white. And true. Stereotypes come about for a reason, but they don’t apply to everyone. And they miss fundamental aspects of being a human being. But that’s a whole other post.
Debates like this just reinforce these stereotypes, and, worse, the “other sides” of these debates actually believe them! The SAHM will be quick to justify she’s not like that, but will happily slot those who aren’t SAHMs into their respective stereotype. And I’m not picking on SAHMs, because the working mums and the self-employed Mums are just as bad!
The silly thing is, everyone thinks it stops there, and the debate rages between groups. Oh, NO! So not the case.
THe SAHM with the most kids will pit against the SAHM whose hubby works longer hours. The single WHAM goes into battle against the married one. The working mums battle it out over who has the most important job, the longer hours or the furthest to travel. Bring in who has their own Mum, sister or other living relative living nearby and you bring in more ammunition for your argument. Start comparing what your business provides for others, who has the “best” husband or the “most understanding” boss and you can argue for days.
In my opinion, I don’t know who deserves it most. I don’t know who, if anyone, should be moved up the list any faster than anyone else. I’d love to say it should be me, because I have a husband that works long hours, little job security, a small baby, and a business that changes the lives of other mums. Don’t I deserve it more than anyone else?
I don’t think anyone deserves the access to childcare more or less than anyone else. I believe they are all valid arguements, and it’s not a debate worth getting into, because it’s not one anyone can win.
Actually, I lie. I think the Mum most at risk to her self or her children should be given a long, hard consideration for being given priority.
Of course, I also believe that if stupid debates like this, and pitting us against each other, were eliminated, then the number of women at risk to themselves or their children would reduce. Significantly.
Book Review: Mama Mia
Posted by: | CommentsA memoir of mistakes, magazines and motherhood … an quite a nice little read, too.
There’s not much we like more than a secret – or not so secret – delve into the world of someone who isn’t us.
Particularly when that someone is honest about her experiences, and gives us a taste of the goings on behind the scenes in the magazine industry. What goes on behind that which goes on behind the fashion and celebrity world! Exciting.
Mama Mia; a memoir of mistakes, magazines and motherhood by writer and magazine editor, Mia Freedman gives us all of this and more. Mia shares her motherhood experiences with candour, and an honesty that many will find refreshing and thankful for.
Ardent home birthers and advocates for mums to stay at home may struggle a little with her truthfulness, however Mia does take responsibility for her thoughts, feelings and experiences. She owns them, in such a way that doesn’t project onto, or judge others for their thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
(Except, perhaps for her Smug List and Crap Lists. Possibly because some of the stuff on her Crap List, I do too, and don’t see myself as being a Crap Mum … I like to call it “reality” (or “reality parenting” if you prefer) as opposed to “crap” or “bad”. But, hey, that’s just me )
Her journey through the world of magazines Cleo and Cosmo are, without a doubt, eye opening, intriguing and, at times, a little bit scary as to what really goes on! I, personally, am in admiration of her stand for body image and all the issues that go along with it – and again, more eye openers there.
The sometimes clash / sometimes mesh of motherhood and career, complete, of course, with mistakes, provide some lighthearted relief, a fair amount of “oh, thank goodness it’s not just me’s” and couple of laugh out loud and tearful moments.
Mia has clearly written from the heart. Overall, an easy read, relateable to many mothers and a fascinating delve into the (not so glamorous) magazine world.
Mama Mia; a memoir of mistakes, magazines and motherhood is available from Seek Books.
(A worthwhile request as a Christmas pressie, too 
)
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Thank You, Children 365
Posted by: | Comments(For those who know me, skip this bit. For the uninitiated – Facetiousness Levels = Extremely High)
I know I’ve spoken about the Children 365 – Celebrate them everyday initiative by the Alannah & Madeline Foundation on a previous occasion, but I just needed to say “thanks” for the initiative.
Thanks for the reminder in the form of a lovely calendar/organiser I can stick on a wall and write down, every day, what positive things I can do with my kids, including tips.
Thanks for the reminder about all I am doing wrong as a mother, and all the areas I’m lacking (or suck at).
Thank you for spending your resources (or those of your many sponsors) on printing and distributing this reminder/organiser.
Thank you for giving more ammunition to the sanctimummies, and for reinforcing their narrowmindedness, and giving them information about stuff they already do!
I’m so pleased you directed your funds on the project, rather than, say, towards a community program that helped people who don’t have access to services to help them parent. Or, perhaps to mental health support agencies and facilities. Or maybe drug rehab programs that provided the stuff people really need; ongoing services and support? Maybe?
You know, the stuff that happens to some parents, and which is why bad stuff happens to kids.
I’m really appreciating the superficial support, and the valuable tips on being nice to kids that, whilst lovely, doesn’t actually help me cope when I’m extremely sleep deprived, have no help and support at home, and keeping depression off as best I can so that I can be the best mother I can be for my kids. Even though I’m so stressed sometimes that I forget that I put my keys in the washing machine, let alone remembering to kiss them, just because.
Thanks for chanelling it into something other than supporting Mums dying of cancer, Mums who know they’re going to die and would love to do this nice stuff for their kids, but can’t because they’re so ill and can’t get the support they need!
Thank you for not helping protect Mums who are being beaten by their partners, or parents (mums and dads) who are about to lose their houses because the other partner is gambling, or dead or disabled or unable or unwilling to support in anway.
You’re right. I think it’s most important to give these kids a boost, say and do things to bump up their self-esteem, and all the rest.
I think taking them to the zoo, when you’re so down you can’t get out of bed and would rather die, is much more beneficial than having access to resources that will prevent you killing yourself
I think playing a computer game with them is awesome, when you can’t afford to eat or clothe them.
Oh, and thank you to the many, many sponsors who have given a boost to this intiative. Thank you for ignoring my repeated requests, and my desperate pleas for help to support those who care for our children – the parents.
Thanks for choosing the organisation that will draw you more attention, because it’s about kids – we all know anything kids is going to win out over anything that will actually support the kids at a more fundamental level and have a greater impact on the desired outcome.
I may be small, but this does not mean I can’t be of use to you.
I think it’s really great that kids are supported and empowered and enabled and everything this initiative is about.
They’re important and special and need our protection and guidance, they are our future. They do need all this.
But, for mine, I believe it is important to start with the foundations. If the structure is weak, you can intiative for the kids as much as you like, it’s not going to make a lot of difference.
Mums and Dads need this kind of support, too.
(Before anyone has a go at me, just keep in mind, I have and am doing something about this. I have put my money where my mouth is. I am about supporting parents so that children have access to supportive environments capable of positive interaction 365 days of the year. What have you done?)
*sigh*
For years I have been talking about Mums feeling isolated and inadquate and feeling guilty and blah blah blah
(Sorry, it’s not really ‘blah, blah, blah’ – it’s very important and has major impacts on maternal emotional and mental health and flow on effects to the family and society. It is something I’m extremely passionate about. I just feel as though I’ve been bashing my head against a wall getting someone to take me seriously about it. Aside from Mums who fel isolated, inadequate etc)
Anyhoo, despite me (and many others) saying it for years, I notice it in today’s paper. A research study. So now it must actually be true.
The article reads:
Relationship problems, flagging libidos and self-confidence, anxiety – and even grief – are part of life for many new mothes, a survey of more than 1500 first-time Victorian mums has found.
(Sorry, nothing new here for me.)
It goes on to say:
But the pressure to appear as perfect parents and partners mean many women are suffering in silence.
(Again, nothing new)
It is for these reasons, mostly, that I started the business I did; a support website, complete with message boards and forum, where not only was it ok to feel these very things, but to feel them out loud (on the boards), honestly and, most importantly, safely. A place where everyone could do the same thing, and no one would judge or condemn them for it.
My plight has been people too scared to be so honest and preferring to see me as rebellious, irreverant or downright trouble making. In fact, I did a similar survey a month ago and found pretty much the same.
Thankfully, the continuing study by the Murdoch Children’s Research Institute, specifically on Sexual Health and Intimacy After Childbirth, is not only a real proper study, but has also been published in a newspaper.
(As an aside, this study also relates to my relationship counsellor friend’s (Chris Owenof Pink Apple) recent blog post on a very similar topic – motherhood and relationships. She goes beyond babydom, however.)
Thus, my throught, feelings and intuition and all the work I’ve done thus far have now been proven true. Must be, coz now it’s published.
I did love the last paragraph, though …
“Women are worrying about whether they are normal, and feeling guilty .. but there is a really wide range of normal, “she (Ms Hannah Woolhouse, the report author) said.
Haven’t I been saying that for ages?
