Get those kids a LIFE!

I’ve been searching the web, but can’t find the commercial for some Napisan Oxyaction washing type thing that washes your clothes better than anyone else, or removes stains or something.

There’s been much discussion about these commercials and how they protray mothers and/or family life; you know, happy mums, neatly dressed with hair salon tussled to look like she’s not all neat and tidy and anal, but is really more like the Hugh Grant character in About A Boy who visist the hairdresser on a dailyl basis to have his hair styled in a way that looks like it hasn’t been. Styled.

Anyhoo, I rarely take notice of these advertisements, mostly due to the fact I look nothing like those mother’s on TV, therefore, they must not be referring to me. Secondly, I have absolutely no desire to aspire to be one of those mums.

This lack of desire for such aspiration was recently cemented with the showing of the latest advert whereby two childnre (boys) are tossing a cooked pizza around – the only realistic component of the commercial – and one of them, not surprisingly, drops it on his – get this – cream coloured pants and the neatly dresses, calm, collected, salon tossled be-haired mum says “Oh, no. How am I going to get that out?”

And then the boys are suitably remorseful and ever so interested in how the stain is going to come out and even more interested in the result.

I don’t know where to start. I want children like that! Where do they come from? I’ve searched e-bay and can’t find them. I’ve even offered my own kids up on MumSwap but no one’s offering the good kids anywhere.

As for Mum, what the hell is she doing buying her boys cream coloured pants, FFS! Far as I’m concerned she’s asking for trouble.

But I do ask – what is she on?! Whatever it is, I want some! Stat! I think my kids would appreciate it, too. Very much so.

Where was the “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” muttered under the breath when the pizza was dropped? Where was the “What the hell were you thinking?” when she observed the stain?

The “Oh, great, more washing. Woo hoo for me!”? and the “Do your own damned washing if you’re going to carry on like a bloody idiot! I’ve got better things to do with my time!”

Why did she not go off to the liquor cabinet and toss down a tumbler of gin? Or stuff an entire family sized block of chocolate down her gullet? What is wrong with her?

Can I get some of whatever it is she’ takes with her morning coffee? I could really use it.

Of course, after her completely unrealistically calm and controlled “tantrum” about the greasy stains on the pants, the magic fairies came along with the Napisan stuff and did her washing for her, while she stood by smiling happily. I’d be standing around smiling happily, too, if the Magic Fairies came to my house and did my washing. I’d even also feign interest in what they were doing, just so as not to upset them or anything.

*sigh*

How lovely would it be to live in one of those drug induced states, also known as TV Commercial Land, all the time?